Government Claims Recycling Success!

The British government announced today that one of its longest re-cycling schemes had been an out and out success, but that it was now appropriate to ‘call time on it’ as it was ‘all starting to look a bit silly’.
‘For well over thirty years now,’ The minister for Claiming Dubious Government Successes, Julia Brown-Tongue, claimed, ‘the government, in partnership with record companies radio DJs and others in the industry, have been very successfully recycling pop and rock music for the British consumer. In fact, we have been so successful for so long now that no-one can remember when there were any really decent and original albums released.’
Although the music industry is trying its best to put that day off for as long as possible, according to industry insiders, it will not be long before the great British public realises that contemporary pop and rock music is a pale bland and insipid shadow of its former glory.
‘Because the so-called ‘new stuff’ is so insipid after being constantly recycled to the point where there is nothing of any worth or originality left,’ said a record company spokeswoman, Trendi Braindead, ‘we have been trying to get old bands to reform in order to keep up the cash flo… er… music scene vibrant. However, as these groups age we are left with fewer and fewer original members. Soon, unfortunately, there will be no-one left capable of even penning a halfway decent tune.’
However, there has been a strong and robust response from the green movement. Petal Flowerbrain, spokeschick for GreenDrivel, wibbled, ‘just recycling the old tunes is not enough, man. We need more tribute bands. They are the most eco-friendly option available to us. For not only do they recycle the original band’s tunes, but adopt the style, look, feel and even – the all-important – hairstyles of the original bands. They offer the only sustainable option for the future of pop music as they can just go on and on and on without wasting any of the precious, and now very rare, resources of actual talent and ability.’

Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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