Satsuma Megalith is not only the first person in recorded history to stand next to a fully kitted-out professional Stoat Distracter without giggling, she is also lead electric triangle player with contemporary rock music’s most hippest band – Purple Entwined Braindribble.
Purple Entwined Braindribble (Known to their fans as ‘The Dribbles’) took the currently moribund and excessively tedious rock world by storm with their first single ‘Solving Quadratic Equations’, an up-to-the-minute eclectic mix of punk, goth, hip-hop, broadside ballad and medieval plainsong. There was a time, last summer, when the song’s catchy chorus ‘don’t sellotape my water vole/ to your blackboard, Mister Helicobacter‘ seemed to be on everyone’s lips.
Purple Entwined Braindribble seem to be everyone’s favourite band, right from those too young to realise they are just another in a line of re-hashes of re-hashes of a moribund stagnant formula way past its sell-by-date, right up to those too old for such things, but unable or unwilling to face up to it. This latter group are still constantly – and vainly – searching for anything to use as proof that they have not become their own parents, or to avoid having to face the empty hollow promise that lies at the heart of the rock ‘n’ roll mythology.
Consequently, the Purple Entwined Braindribble’s first album – Seismic Fortran Party Girls Eating Pies – sold in millions, making superstars of the band, especially the exceptionally photogenic and – more often than not – unsuitably underdressed Satsuma Megalith herself.