There Will Be Naked Ladies

Nevertheless, it was – as these things go – more interesting than originally thought. Although, people these days have the attention span of a….

Oooh, look at that!


As I was saying before I….

Hang on, don’t go yet. There will be naked ladies.

Sort of….

Although, by now all adult Internet users – even those who are not ladies with a mirror – should know what a naked lady looks like. Nevertheless there are still metric oodles of photographs available online for those who may have forgotten and need a quick reminder, or two.

In fact, while I think about it….

Hang on, a minute.


Right. Apparently, I was remembering correctly and the undressed lady does indeed have two elbows, and they are – more or less – where I remembered they ought to be.

Without vital research tools like that so much of what passes for work, information and entertainment in this modern technological world would be much more difficult.

Back in the 1970s, for example, if a young man wished to check for himself that an under-dressed young lady’s elbows – for example – were in the place he remembered they were, was much more difficult than it is these days. It would mean ferreting about under his mattress, or in the bottom of his wardrobe, in order to find suitable reference material. Sometimes, it even entailed a visit to a newsagent. Perhaps more than one visit, if the newsagent’s teenage daughter was behind the counter on his first visit.

In earlier times, such anatomical curiosity would necessitate being rich enough to commission a painting. Or, making friends with an impoverished artist. Preferably who could knock of a quick sketch of a female arm from the wrist to the shoulder for a nominal charge.

In even earlier ages, it would need a long awkward crawl to the specialist area of the cave to see some of the cave paintings. Usually the ones the shaman of the tribe spent so long meditating over. In fact they spent so much time there, they were made blind when they left the darkness of the cave and returned to dazzling sunlight. This is where many anthropologists now believe the idea that such intense meditation ‘makes you go blind’ originated.

So, there we have it. Modern society does indeed need as many pictures of naked ladies as it can get. For – as this brief historical guide shows – they are essential to man’s understanding of this universe and without them we as a society, as a species, would be much less well-informed.

In fact, without such visual aids a good many of us, it seems, would be unable to tell our arse from our elbow.




Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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