TV Cookery

There is time and there is place. There is also thyme and plaice, but since this is not a cooking… er… thing, we will leave those to one side. Probably next to the new potatoes and the… well, whatever that green stuff is.

Instead, we will sally fourth (as Sally Third has phoned in sick, again) and see what other  satsumas subjects lie out there on the dining table… the horizon.

Some do say that currant… er… current TV schedules have far too many cooking shows on them. Rather than a touch of cooking shows, a hint of TV chefs, a taste of gastronomic delight, we get heavy stodgy schedules weighted down with massive dumplings of cooking programmes.

However, most of us don’t really notice such things. After all, it doesn’t usually matter that much what is on the TV as long as the takeaway arrives on time, or the family-size bag of crisps isn’t too far out of reach from the sofa.

Although, I – (meal)for one, possibly with room for afters – think TV designers have missed a trick in not incorporating a button for contacting the local takeaways on the TV remote control. A boon I’m sure many of us would appreciate. Especially as today’s tiny mobile phones tend to get lost somewhere beneath the stomach horizon.

As an aside, this is probably one explanation for the current trend to put flat screen TVs high on the wall, rather than down low where they used to be. This often led to the TV appearing below the stomach horizon like the setting or rising sun as we tried in vain to peer over ourselves to comprehend just what Nigella was about to do with that courgette.

Anyway, anyone fancy a pound or two of cheese, or shall we just open another extra large bag of crisps in readiness for when Masterchef comes on?


Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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