By then she had it well in hand, so we will leave them to it. Give them some well-deserved privacy while they go about what must remain their private business. That is until the video is released onto the Internet. Then we can all safely download it into a password-protected folder before leaping on our social media site of choice. There to add our strident denunciation to the swelling chorus of those who like nothing better than an existential justification by denouncement.
After all, what better way is there to silence those disturbing voices we all have inside ourselves than by denouncing others? Especially those who dare to do what we only allow ourselves to dream about in the privacy of our own mindspace. After all, no decent person would ever contemplate such things. Especially not with a watermelon and a brace of well-oiled politicians from the political party your mother always warned you against, would they?
As for that thing with the well-hosed firemen and daytime weather presenter – surely that is illegal?
If it is not illegal, then it ought to be.
Someone – especially you – ought to be out there now bravely setting up a Arsebook page to denounce such practises and the people who engage in them. Perhaps if not the death penalty, then at least a long prison term – with hard labour – for those that dare do such things. This would go some way towards erasing those thoughts, notions, ideas that creep into your mind in the small hours of the morning when the comfort of social media seems too far away. A time when those you call your friends are probably wrestling with their own similar demons of the imagination and possibility.
After all, no member of the clergy would ever do such a thing with a Brussels sprout… would they? Especially not in the presence of a oiled and naked unbeliever like you… would they?
It is time such filth was banned. So join the campaign against… well, whatever it is…. Go on social media this instant and make your voice heard and make this outrage stop… now.