Well, it could be taken the wrong way – as the bishop said to the… well, anyway.
She did make the offer, though, and as I’m not a tabloid journalist, I did not make my excuses and leave. Also, not being a politician, I didn’t ask for a receipt for a claim against expenses.
Consequently I am a bit out of pocket, with nothing to show for it except a pain down the left-hand side of my back and some rather… well, interesting memories.
Oh, and she let me keep the rhubarb, not that it is much use now the stiffness has gone from it.
I know how it feels, being somewhat deflated myself, now… as it were.
Of course, back in my younger days I would have soon bounced back and been ready to go again in less than an hour. These days it takes so much longer… weeks at a time. Come to that… as it were, back then I would not have needed such professional expertise in the first place.
But such are the ravages of time.
There are some who would say that such occurrences show a certain amount of decadence. The jaded society, the times we live in and all that. Obviously, these are people who have little or no knowledge of history. After all, forced rhubarb has been around for centuries. Although, admittedly not quite in the way she forces it, or with such dexterity. However, even despite the involvement of Leeds in the practice during its heyday, there is little in the records about using the practice for erotic ends.
However, times have changed.
Some say it is the growth in the use of the Internet that has resulted in such niche practices, interests and deviations becoming more common. However, back in the early days of the Internet such professional ladies did offer their services on newsgroups. These groups were often set up by those interested and fascinated by the practice and the various techniques developed by these ladies and their devoted clients. Of course, back in those days it took a couple of minutes to download a high-resolution photograph of a stick of rhubarb. So, some say it is those early text-based exchanges between the ladies of the rhubarb and their devoted followers that led to the Internet forced rhubarb erotica phenomenon. Then, that in turn led to the extraordinary worldwide best-seller Fifty Sticks of Rhubarb recently becoming such an international erotica sensation.
Anyway, anyone fancy a dish of rhubarb crumble? It would be a shame for all that rhubarb go to waste, especially after what it’s been though….
As it were.