Ruling The World

Well, at the time she was somewhat quieter than normal, which was ominous, possibly even more ominous than when she is more voluble than normal.

Especially as normal is already quite dangerous enough.

However, such is the life of a secret superhero, or – indeed – super-villain. They do tend to have rather more stresses and strains in their lives, largely because of their secret identity. So it is only fair we allow them a certain amount of leeway, or – in her case – plenty of room.

After all, taking over the world does tend to take up a fairly large amount of the average super-villain’s time, especially all the paperwork. After all, every one of those minions does need to have their contract details sorted out.

Admittedly, a pension plan isn’t, usually, necessary for every single one of the horde of minions, is it? Especially not when the superheroes turn up and start making all those sudden – and often rather violent – compulsory redundancies. If only – as so many super-villains have bewailed – they spent more time on the minion training courses, teaching them to shoot straighter.

But, as always, you can’t get the staff.

Anyway, as she already had the world’s governments held to ransom, you would think she would consider taking it easy for a while. Perhaps even consider a weekend break, perhaps even a week’s holiday. But, as with the minion contracts, it is the lot of the super-villain to be controlling and unwilling to delegate. After all, they don’t scheme and plan for decades just so someone else can get a go at ruling the world while they take a fortnight’s well-deserved holiday in some luxury Caribbean hotel. After all, it is the ruling that is the point of it.

At least that is what she says.

Which is, of course, why she can be a bit… touchy at times, especially when things are not going her way. I suppose, should explanations be needed, that is why so many of those suave dinner-jacketed and wise-quipping secret agents, all with a licence to kill, have ended up in the piranha tank.

She really doesn’t like people interfering with her plans, especially not right at the last minute.

Still, as she often says, she does wonder why she bothers. After all, none of the governments of the world ever seems grateful for all the trouble she takes off their hands. What is more, she is quite good at getting things organised, getting things done. Although, sometimes with a bit more abrupt bloodshed than is usually the case at world political summits. But, then, who really notices if the odd politician or two gets eaten by piranhas? It is not as if we ever miss any of them, is it?

So, all in all then, it is best we just leave her to it and let her get on with it. After all, as most of us would say, if she does want to rule the world, then why not let her have a go? She can’t do much worse than the lot we have now, after all. So maybe we should let her get on with it. Only occasionally, if she looks as though she is in a good mood, offering to make her a nice cup of tea.

After all, she wouldn’t throw you to the piranhas just for that, would she?

Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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