At least, we had the custard ready. Even so, she was somewhat reluctant to disrobe fully before the apple crumble was in the dish. Still, once we had the hang of the instructions it all went as well as we expected. Perhaps next time will be even better, especially if we remember to warm the spoons first.
Still, in our product review on the website, we will be giving the full five stars to this instructional DVD. Personally, I have to say How To Do The Sex When You Are Old And Knackered is one of the best – if not the best – aids we have… er… come across in our attempt to bring a little of the magic – and a great deal more custard – back into our sex life.
Such that it was before this enlightening DVD entered our lives.
Up until the release of this brand new sex instruction DVD by the renowned Austria sexologist couple, Her Doctor Hans Alloverher, and his wife, Labia Moistgusset, our tin of custard powder was rapidly approaching its Best Before date. Furthermore, it has been a long time since we had the spoons out for anything other than ordinary desserts and puddings .
As for apple crumble, we had long since stopped exploring the erotic possibilities of it and similar desert for many years albeit, not through design, more by accident.
After all, there comes a time in man a couple’s life together when the sexual attraction of the garden shed and the erotic possibilities of knitting loom larger in the respective lives of that couple.
Up until we sat and watched this DVD together, it was a very long time indeed since I last showed my wife my dibber and even longer since she had measured me for a woolly jumper.
Although, to be fair, a quiet Saturday night in with a curry, a DVD and a glass or two of wine had sometimes led to us cuddling up on the sofa. Often with the lights down low and the Ikea catalogue open on our laps. Even that had become more infrequent of late. Both of us see that though as something more of a last resort when there was nothing good on the telly – which as it was a Saturday night – was more often than not.
It had reached such a crisis point, however, that both of us were – unbeknown to the other – seriously contemplating flannel nightwear. I for the first time in my adult life was now regarding pyjamas not as something ridiculous but as possibly being quite comfy in bed. Even worse, the wife had been searching websites for a nice warm nightie, when she happened on an advert for this DVD. On a romantic whim, she ordered it and our lives have not been the same since. Tomorrow we shall try its recipe for lemon meringue sixty-nine; I just hope we are both up to it.