Of course, it wasn’t too unusual, not considering what usually happens around here. However, the local Ladies Knitting, Erotica and Wine Appreciation Club were having one of their chocolate-tasting evenings at the time, up in the church hall. So the occasional naked hunk fleeing up the High Street is only to be expected.
After all, some of us have been married to those ladies (fortunately only one at a time) so we do know what they are like, even if mostly only in the singular.
However, of late, they have taken to hunting in a pack. Hence, the semi-regular sight of the naked fleeing hunks from the ladies’ increasingly chaotic get-togethers.
Of course, things used to be much quieter in this place. At least until the Ladies Knitting, Erotica and Wine Appreciation club began their reading club and got hold of that book.
Yes, that one.
Although, why the memoirs of a politician, in a failed and discredited government, should give the ladies of this town such an erotic frisson is somewhat of a mystery. A mystery that has been discussed at great length wherever the partners, boyfriends and husbands gather for shelter whenever the ladies are on the rampage.
A few of the braver souls amongst us have risked reading the book. The main reactions were the lack of any detailed football league history and a woeful lack of Special Forces undercover action. Most were left mystified by how such a less than riveting tome should get the ladies all worked up, unless it was some existential realisation that dullness waits us all, unless we take action against it.
Of course, the Ladies Knitting, Erotica and Wine Appreciation Club have read several other books more traditionally considered as erotica. However, they all claim that such books are poorly written, unrealistic, unimaginative and as arousing as a damp lettuce sandwich or – for that matter – a mediocre politician’s memoirs. So it can’t be those books that are driving the Ladies Knitting, Erotica and Wine Appreciation Club into such frenzies. At least not when they hire a male stripping team to come and help them model and display their latest knitwear creations to the rest of the club.
Just why such fashion shows require so much wine consumption is another of the matters we often discuss late into the night. At least while we shelter in the pub waiting for the all-clear to sound. We listen in terror as the screams of the last fleeing nude hunk fade into the distance as the Ladies Knitting, Erotica and Wine Appreciation club hunting party return to their lair with their captured prey.
Still, I suppose it is better for the ladies to have some sort of social life instead of just sitting at home in front of the telly night after night.