Making The Best Of It With Leftovers


Well, there we were. Which was useful. Otherwise, we would have been here, and it is not much fun being here without at least a couple of sandwiches and a drink. After all, we are here for the long haul.

As it were….

Or, even as it probably still is.

Anyway, we came to this supermarket – as you can tell – to see if we could pick up an arresting first paragraph for this… this… whatever it is. For, as you can see, this… piece doesn’t start that well.

Not only that, at least so far, it hasn’t managed to get going at all.

In all its various promotions, the supermarket had promised it had all manner of paragraphs, sentences and so forth, on offer today. From arresting first paragraphs, through interesting and gripping middle passages, right through to some killer wrap-up lines.

Of course, we were eager to stock up, as we are now down to a handful of frozen paragraphs stuck to the bottom of the freezer. Many are well past their Best Before date too. I found one, the other day, which mentioned the Prime Minister, Tony Blair. Another one I found in there referenced Pan’s People on Top of the Pops. It had gone a funny colour and smelt as though it could contain traces of the now unperson Jimmy Saville, a well-recognised health hazard these days.

There are a few odd sentences in the back of the cupboard too. Obviously, these are ones we’ve never got around to using, often for the usual reasons. Some of them look as though they might be foreign. But the storage instructions and ingredients list have worn off, so we don’t really want to open them up only to find they are instructions for how to clean out the vacuum cleaner filter in Polish. Which – as experience shows – does not tend to make a riveting posting, unless – of course – it is on a Polish Vacuum cleaner maintenance blog, of which I’m sure there are many.

Still, anyway, we did find the miscellaneous verbiage aisle… eventually. The supermarket, apparently, had moved it again. It used to be right next t the frozen peas, but now it is in garden supplies for some reason. They were right next to the slug pellets and two-for-the-price-of-one celebrity gardener-endorsed dibbers.

Anyway, all they had left was one rather limp paragraph about the Liberal Democrat Annual Conference. Which was probably way past its best when they had it in. There were also a couple of paragraphs about the  latest celebrity talent show on ITV. However, it had a couple of key words missing and several dangerous dangling modifiers which could – quite easily – fall foul of current EU Grammar safety standards.

So, we left without buying anything.

In the end, I had to cobble this one together out of what leftovers we had from a short story I’d made last week.

Still, I suppose, it didn’t turn out too bad in the end, even if I believe it could have done with another spoonful of garam masala in the closing line.

Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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