When the shadows call, we can hide there and let the daytime pass us by. We wait for darkness before we move. We wait for the night to cover the sky with its deep blankets before we dare creep from the shadows where we hide.
They are out there, looking for us. We know only too well what will happen when they find us. Sometimes, as we huddle in the deepest darkness we can find and peer out through whatever cover we have found, we see the days waiting out there. We long for them, long to feel the sun on our faces again, feel the warmth seeping into us as deep as our bones.
Sometimes, I look at Ella, she looks at me, and I see the same thought in her eyes, as I know she sees in mine. Sometimes, I know we both wonder if it is worth it, if this is any kind of life. But survival is all that matters for now.
I look at Ella and all I can see is the promise I made to her mother. A promise that I would keep Ella safe, get her away from the nightmare our lives had become. I promised as the life slipped from my wife’s eyes that I would keep our daughter alive. I would find a place where she could venture out into the sunlight again.
Now, though I look at Ella, and I look at my reflection in moonlit pools and I wonder at the creatures they have forced us to become. I wonder if it is worth struggling on through another night and hiding for even one more day.
They are drawing closer and they will catch us.
I look at Ella and she looks at me. We dare not say it to each other, but both of us think that maybe it would be better for us to just end it all now.