A New Space Mission Planned


Following the success of the Rosetta mission to put a lander on comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko, the team behind the mission have announced plans to send another spacecraft out into deep space. This time the mission will study a mysterious object that has only a very tenuous connection to this planet. The body, known as the Miliband Near Earth Object is a mysterious artefact that sometimes orbits close to this world, but has never actually landed on planet Earth. Many scientists, after studying the evidence, argue that if the object did indeed crash into the Earth it could have devastating effects. If the object hit Earth and formed what scientist call a government, then it could be one of the biggest disasters in Earth history. Easy outweighing the damage caused to the American continent by the Bush strike. Some space scientists it could be even worse than when Britain was last hit by an alien object, when the Brown calamity struck these islands around the turn of this century. An impact many argue the country is still yet to recover from.

Although, many have argued that a Miliband collision would not be as destructive as the Brown strike. Especially in the number of small high-speed corollary impacts – known as Nokia events – there would still be considerable damage caused to the country, perhaps causing damage unseen in this part of the world since the 1970s.

Consequently, the scientists have proposed a mission to study the Miliband object. They want to see if there is some way they can make sure it is not on a collision course with the impending election. In addition, they hope to discover just where in the universe this strange object came from.

Obviously,’ one scientist said, ‘it is totally unlike anything we have seen on earth. It would not be beyond the bounds of speculation to consider that it may indeed be some form of alien construction.’

However, other scientists have dismissed the idea that it is of unknown origin. They point out that any civilisation advanced enough to send such a thing into deep space would be far more competent at building the device.

‘As we have seen,’ another scientist opined. ‘The Miliband is nothing but a natural disaster, buggering up all that comes into contact with it, often by behaving in the strangest and most unpredictable ways. Consequently, there is no telling what damage it could cause if it hit the Earth at election time.’

Already confident of success in their mission to understand the alien Miliband Near Earth Object, scientists are now discussing another mission to another strange out of this world object.

The scientists call this other object the Brand Oddity. It is, apparently, a strange snake-hipped like hairy object that is in a permanent state of what it calls ’Revolution’ where it orbits in ever-diminishing circles around its own supermassive ego. However, this object is completely out of touch with the Earth and how it works. Many scientists say that the Brand Oddity is so far beyond the Earth that it will not even come close to contacting it. The scientists predict the Brand Oddity will merely fly off into the sun, burn up and be forgotten about, even long before the Miliband Near Earth Object is nothing but a vague memory.


Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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