These days Picklingvinegar Stoatadaptor is best known as one of the world’s leading exponents of the use of the cream cake in an erotic context. Obviously, we are all aware of the sensual possibilities of the cream horn or the apple turnover. But not all of us are thoroughly conversant with the erotic capabilities of the sherry trifle, or – if in season – the fresh cream scone and strawberries. Providing, of course, there is no possibility of tennis running the erotically-charged atmosphere with the latter.
A full cream sherry trifle, of course, is always guaranteed to get a potential sensual or erotic encounter off to a good start. This is especially so if the lady – or ladies – in question have their knitting at the ready. A situation further enhanced if there is the possibility – however remote – that there will be something good on the telly later.
Of course, the erotic use of sherry trifle does largely depend on a certain amount of dexterity with the elbows. As well as having the spoons at room temperature. As there is nothing that quite cools the ardour as a cold spoon on the erogenous zones. That is, of course, unless that is the kind of thing you both (or all) find particularly arousing or stimulating.
Of course, dishes are not necessary, as long as none of those present move too quickly for the adhesive capabilities of the trifle. After all, as a colloid custard – for example – does have some relatively unusual properties. Those properties of custard can cause problems if the post-prandial pizza arrives too early or in more extreme cases her husband returns home earlier than expected.
As for the scones with fresh cream and strawberries, many argue that the scones themselves should not be too crumbly. However, many more claim that searching for the errant crumbs, as well as licking up any spilt cream, or discovering a lost strawberry can only add to the erotic frisson of the encounter. It can all become especially arousing if she promises to remove her cardigan as the evening progresses towards a mutually satisfying climax. In particular, if the TV programme advert breaks last long enough for a satisfactory encounter for everyone present.
Still, however, there are far more erotic possibilities of cream cakes than can be fully encompassed within a brief article such as this. Many ladies, for example, would firmly attest to the invigorating possibilities of tasting a fireman’s cream horn. Meanwhile, many gentlemen would no doubt attest there is nothing quite as arousing as seeing her peaches covered in your freshly whipped cream.
However, most would caution against engaging in fresh cream cake based erotic dalliances in the outside world. It is possible to make many sexual and erotic encounters more exciting by going outdoors. However, fresh cream is not at its best in other than the ideal weather conditions. This is especially so in the UK where the persistent drizzle can only ever dampen the ardour and water down the cream to a point where everything becomes limp and unsatisfactory. Which is a situation that most would agree, unless they are sensuously aroused by disappointment, one that is best avoided.