The 1970s and the Rise of Erotic Knitting

Puddleduck Noflyzone initially came to prominence with her first TV series for the BBC. Noflyzone’s Sexy Knitting Hour was a staple of 1970s early evening TV and one of the first colour Television programmes to feature full frontal knitwear in an erotic context. Of course, back then multi-coloured jumpers, sweaters, cardigans and – of course – tank tops were the height of fashion, not a great height admittedly, but a height none the less.

Back then, there was a great deal of sexual experimentation in society, some of it – as The Joy of Sex proved – even involving beards. However, most ordinary people had limited access to beards. In those days, beards were only available on the NHS. There was a waiting list of several years, which meant ordinary people had to explore other avenues of eroticism. Most houses of the time did not have any form of heating, apart from coal gas or electric fires. A few upmarket houses had storage heating which was designed to come on in the middle of the night and then gradually fade away to nothing as the day progressed and got colder. Therefore, full nudity was regarded as somewhat risky behaviour within the average household.

It took someone of Noflyzone’s genius to realise that the answer to this state of sexual frustration was indeed knitwear. After all, there are all manner of knitted goods that keep the body warm and yet expose enough of the erogenous zones to enable some level of erotic undertaking to take place. Hence the sudden otherwise inexplicable rise of the tank top to the pinnacle of the fashion tree in the 1970s.

The 1970s too also saw the rise of the knitted poncho, thigh length knitted socks and – of course – to the outrage of the tabloids of the day – bespoke woollen sex mittens.

Various tabloids had already expressed outrage at what they saw as the over explicitness of Noflyzone’s Sexy Knitting Hour. In particular, the tabloids singled out the episode where she had featured a rather risqué for the time segment on the eroticism and sensual nature of the bobble hat. An item of fetish gear especially arousing for men, she claimed, when in the colours of their favourite football team. Noflyzone later claimed that one single programme on the erotic potential of the bobble hat – especially in team colours – did more for marital harmony in the UK than anything else in the 1970s, up to and including the Hostess trolley or Goblin Teasmade.

Of course, people these days in a more open sexually commercial era cannot really imagine a full sex life that does not feature at least one item of sexy knitwear, even if it is only a pair of the now-ubiquitous sex mittens. But back then they were very different times indeed. In fact, anti-naughtiness campaigner May Whitehouse started legal action against Puddleduck Noflyzone and the producers of her TV programme for blasphemy. This was when on her programme she openly knitted a scarf on Good Friday in direct contravention of the rather strict Religious anti-knitting laws of the time. These ancient laws forbade knitting anything other than a woollen tea cosy on days regarded as significant in the Christian calendar.

However, the Law Lords of the time threw out the case, arguing that religion had no right to dictate what anyone should be able to knit on any day they chose. This was not only a great victory for Noflyzone and erotic knitwear, but also a great day for freedom from religious persecution in the UK.

Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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