Most Inventive Death in a TV Drama Award

Dishmop Thermocouple first appeared on cinema screens as one of the most significant naked corpses in motion picture history. Her role in Kill Them until They are Very Dead VII, catapulted her to international stardom. After that, she was the most in-demand naked corpse in cinema and on TV for several years.

However, it was not too long before – in fear of becoming typecast – Thermocouple branched out into playing the bodies in the moments before they died. She specialised in those – usually – pre-title sequences where the first victim is killed, sometimes having a few lines to speak before the killer dispatched her, often in an inventive and highly implausible manner. Working mainly in British TV, Thermocouple died from all manner of fatal weaponry and circumstances, from being force-fed a putrid roadkill badger to being kidnapped and forced to watch daytime TV until her brain exploded.

At the BAFTAs – as well as several other ceremonies where actors give each other career-boosting awards and recognition – Thermocouple has won every annual Best Naked Corpse awarded for a record-breaking ten years. As well as receiving the Naked Corpse Award she also won the coveted Most Inventive Death in a TV Drama award on a regular basis.

Of course, Thermocouple had a most devoted fan base; some of whom – mostly those awkward men who still lived with their mothers – could detail every single one of her appearances as a naked corpse down to the split-second. Some of these original fans called her a sell-out and a traitor to her art for taking roles where she kept her clothes on, at least for the pre-title sequence. Although, most felt it was better to see her on the screen for longer and to see her branching out into these more demanding partially or fully-clothes roles. As Thermocouple herself pointed out, though, holding your breath and not blinking for several seconds at a time can be quite demanding. She claims it stretches an actor’s acting ability sometimes to the limit. Especially, as she pointed out, you are lying there stark naked while staring up into the nostrils of other cast members as they loom over you whilst pretending to prod and poke your lifeless body, ‘especially the tickly bits’ as Thermocouple said in a recent interview. She added ‘I could also tell you precisely which TV detective has got the hairiest nostrils and which TV pathologist has got the coldest hands, but those are professional secrets.’

Of course, this year’s Most Inventive Death in a TV Drama Award is going to be a close run thing, especially with the new TV series, Game of King Slaughtering now on our screens. In this new drama, several score of kings and claimants to their thrones are slaughtered in many inventive ways, including the first case in a British TV series of someone decapitated on the battlefield by a crossbow propelled frozen crow corpse. Although, Thermocouple’s most recent death where she is killed by a teaspoon on a speeding Channel Tunnel train is still regarded as a strong contender. Some critics have noted the sheer implausibility of a speeding Channel Tunnel train, especially on the British side of the tunnel. Consequently, many of those same critics feel this may count against her when up against the inventive mass slaughter in the GOKS programmes, but only time – and the judges – will tell.

 

Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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