Free Kindle Humour Novel: In the Beginning

In the Beginning

FREE for the next Five days. Get it here (universal link)

In the Beginning

 It’s a God’s life.

Albert Meadows, recently made redundant and tired of his disappointing life, is looking to make a new start and is desperate to find something worthwhile to fill his time.

So, what could be better than creating a brand new universe of his own, in his garden shed?

But, when he introduces intelligent life to his new universe, things don’t turn out as he planned, especially when the tribes on his planet each create their opposing gods in his image.

Now Albert must rescue the people on his creation from themselves and the warring religions they’ve created.

All before his people destroy each other in a war to end all wars over which version of Albert they believe in.

In the Beginning

FREE for the next Five days. Get it here (universal link).

Extract:

 Albert was pretty sure that Steve was not a good name for a mountain, especially not as the nearby river was also called Steve.

‘The River Steve, the Mountain Steve. What’s wrong with that?’ The man seemed pleased with his progress, even though he’d only named the mountain, the river, a few of the animals and none of the plants.

‘Is that it?’ Albert sighed.

‘I’m no good with names.’ The man cocked his head to one side. ‘Anyway, what’s my name?’

‘What?’ Albert realised it had never occurred to him to give the man a name. ‘I’m no good with names.’ Albert de-manifested quickly and glanced around his shed, seeking inspiration. WD-40 was probably not a good name. Black? Decker? Nails? Nail?

He re-manifested. ‘Jimmy! You are called Jimmy, of course.’

The man looked down at himself. ‘Am I? Oh, right.’

‘I’m sure I mentioned it last time.’ Albert had been practising his stern look.

‘Oh, yes. I remember now. I’m Jimmy. Yes, of course. By the way, what do I call you, Mighty Creator?’

‘Alb….’ Albert had never really liked his own name much. But Albert had been his granddad’s name and that was the name his mother had insisted on. ‘You may call me Lord.’ He shrugged, not ideal, but he’d always been hopeless at naming things. After all, he’d named this creation Sod. He’d think of something better next time around.

‘Lord? What does that mean?’

‘It means I’m the boss and you do what I say.’

‘Oh, right. If you say so.’

‘I do.’

‘Right, then.’ The man shrugged. ‘What now, Lord?’

‘Carry on naming things, I suppose.’

‘What, all of them?’

‘Yes. And, while you are at it, think of a better name than Steve.’

‘What for, the mountain or the river?’

‘Both of them.’

In the Beginning

 FREE for the next Five days. Get it here (universal link).

 

 

Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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