As everyone knows, Bollard Chestwig is one of Hollywood’s top actors, playing some of the most successful romantic lead roles in the history of cinema. Unfortunately, his latest film Return of the Nasty Thing IV has not been as successful as the other films in the series. Many critics have put this down to the fact that Chestwig keeps his shirt on throughout the film and he never even gets it slightly moistened. Even though there are to scenes near a river, one next to a fountain and the film is set in the exotic and glamorous location of the Manchester to Liverpool canal.
Many of the legions of female Chestwig fans have taken to social media to criticise his performance in this latest film. Some comparing it to several of his previous films where he took his shirt off completly, or it got very damp.
However, Chestwig himself has said that he sees himself as a serious actor, not just as a sexy hunk. He has denied that up until his latest film he has had final say over any script changes. There are claims that he often demands that a scene be inserted into the film where he either takes his shirt off or gets it wet. A number of critics condemned him for taking his wet shirt off in his previous film, when he played the lead role in his self-directed biopic of Oliver Hardy. Some argue that this critical lambasting that turned him against removing his shirt in any subsequent films.
Nevertheless, after the critical panning of his Hardy film, many of the more devoted Chestwig fans claimed that he should forget about chasing critical and artistic acclaim by continuing to make worthy films. They say he should go back to the sort of roles he has made his own in romantic drama, romantic comedy and action films that necessitate him getting more than a little damp as he rescues the female lead from peril.
Of course, at 39 (+/- 25) years old, many in the film world believe that Chestwig is getting too old to play these sort of roles, especially when playing against female leads barely out of their teens. Some critics think that now his legendary chest hair is turning grey, Chestwig has turned towards the more artistic – and potentially award-winning – films that he has briefly experimented with in recent years. Such projects as his attempt to play the lead role in The Donald Trump Story as a dramatic, perhaps even tragic, hero and not as the slapstick comedy everyone in Hollywood expected.
It was the artistic and critical failure, as well as the poor box office returns of these recent films of his that many believe made Chestwig revert to the kind of role he does best. In his latest film, though, he never manages to take his shirt off as his many thousands of fans have come to expect.
The only question that remains is will he, in the future, despite his advancing years, go back to giving his fans what they want and if not remove his shirt as the script demands, or – at least – get it slightly damp.