Of All the Dimensions in All the Universes

They all said how they had never seen me so happy, which I suppose must mean I was once a very miserable bugger indeed.

‘When can we meet her?’ It was a question I grew tired of hearing. I developed an extensive repertoire of evasive, non-committal responses. Of course, the best one was eventually admitting that it was a long-distance relationship. That did quieten a few of them down. But if I’d ever said just how long that distance was, then the only committal in the relationship would be committing me to some long-term residential mental care facility.

At first, I thought June was a ghost. This was a bit odd considering that I know there are no such things as ghosts. I know what those alleged supernatural events really are now, now that June has explained about all those sightings of spooky things that were not obvious – or even not-so-obvious – frauds.

She explained to me about the way the dimensions fold and refold around each other. This makes the many worlds, the many parallel dimension fold, cross and intersect each other. Think not so much of parallel worlds, but a ball of wool in the presence of an over-exuberant kitten.

June said that was what she was there to do, try to untangle a particularly tricky entanglement between her dimension and ours.

She also mentioned that this entanglement, besides creating ghosts and all that other anomalous phenomena beloved of certain websites, also makes time travel and even interstellar travel possible. For if you can find a dimension that crosses two points – in either space or time – then it is possible to move between them to that other place or time. And as June pointed out as we lay together one spring morning in my bed, ‘in an infinite universe, everything is possible.’

Except us getting together – it seems.

Typically, I had to fall for a career woman. And, well, if that career involves saving the world, it does make it pretty hard to argue against it.

Not that I didn’t try, of course. But when you are a woman who has seen so many wonders of the multiverse, risked your life against dimension-crossing monsters, saved entire universes from annihilation and still have enough belief to continue to pay into your pension plan you must be a pretty determined career woman. So, then the pleading of some ordinary bloke in some quiet backwater dimension for you to give it all up to come live with him, and maybe get some sort of job in the local council planning office or something similar, does seem… shall we say, less than enticing.

I only suggested the local town planning office because they, or especially, their traffic department, seem to either live on another planet, or make their plans for a dimension completely alien to this one.

June said no.

I can’t say I was surprised.

Although, I was surprised one morning, not long after then. June kissed me on the lips while doing that thing she does with her thigh and her hand that always wakes me up in the most pleasant way possible.

‘What?’ I said, knowing something was different. She may cross universes, times and dimensions, but usually mornings are not normally June’s strongpoint.

‘You could come live with me,’ she said. ‘Come work with me?’

I thought about it, but not for long. Because then she started doing that thing she does that will make me agree to anything.

‘Yes. Yes! YES!’ I said… eventually.


Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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