All-Village Weekend Orgy Tea-Breaks

It goes without saying, although I am going to say it anyway, that all manner of subjects come up for discussion during the statutory tea breaks taken part-way through any all-village weekend orgy in the village hall.

Obviously as this is England, the subject of the weather is one of perennial fascination. Especially the way the drizzle runs down the backs of your legs and fills up your wellies whenever engaged in any meadow-based perversion, Such As Nine Men (And a Brace of Dairymaids) Went To Mow, Bringing In The Strumpets, A-Fondling We Will Go, and so forth.

Then there is – typically at certain times of the year – the unexpected frost and how it can nip at the exposed buds and shoots. There are often discussions about the best form of precautions to avoid such mishaps, like covered the exposed areas of your postmistress with a bit of old sacking. Old Feebletrousers swears by (and sometimes at) a good mulching of your assistant librarian, but he is a bit old fashioned that way.

Of course, during the one day of English Summer, anyone interested in outdoor perversions has to be aware of the dangers of sunburn on the exposed areas, especially those areas not used to exposure to the elements, such as Grand Uncle Stagnant’s under-vest area. However, the ladies of Little Frigging have found an ingenious solution to this difficulty by asking our local volunteer fireman Strom Thighhammer to give them a good hosing down if they feel they are in danger of becoming overcome in the heat.

Yours perversely:

Norbert Trouser-Quandary

 

A tale from the From the LFITW archive.

More from Little Frigging in the Wold here

 

Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create your website with WordPress.com
Get started
%d bloggers like this: