Strip Ludo and World Domination

Spanglethighs Dromedarywrench is probably the UK’s most underrated Strip Ludo player currently on the scene. As we all know, Strip Ludo is a highly-competitive game, especially at the professional level. These days, some Strip Ludo Grand Mistresses have to live beyond Earth orbit for tax reasons.

Every four years, the Strip Ludo World Tournament is the most watched board game on the world’s sports and adult TV channels, with annual advertising and sponsorship revenues in the billions. Those who have inside knowledge of the game’s governing body, FISL, say that the body’s accountants need a special button on their calculators to keep track of the money earned by its top players. These accountants have also recently installed a particular new subroutine in their spreadsheets to calculate the income for stars of the game.

This means that a top-flight Strip Ludo Grand Mistress, like Dromedarywrench, has an income measured in the billions, possibly even more when adding marketing rights to the pot.

Of course, there are many amongst the religiously puritanical and the ideologically-twisted who complain that the sport is somehow degrading to the contestants. However, the women who play the game are amongst the best-paid and most respected women on the planet. Many of them easily eclipse football stars and pop singers in the international celebrity recognition stakes. But, as is often the case, anyone who achieves great success will get their share of carping critics and outright jealousy.

Recently, the more traditional sports and other televised pastimes have declined in market share. Consequently, the new sports such as Strip Ludo took over those abandoned slots and increased the vital viewing figures to unprecedented heights. The sports traditionalists decried this as some kind of apocalyptic end of times. Nevertheless, fashions change in games and in sports as they do everywhere else as people grow tired of the familiar and seek out something new to entertain them.

This is why the phenomenal rise of the younger players such as Dromedarywrench is so exciting. Especially to those of us who have been fans of the sport from when it only amateur players played it in draughty church halls and upstairs rooms in pubs, specially hired for the purpose.

As with many phenomena of the modern technological age, the internet changed everything about the game. Videos of those early amateur matches soon easily became the most watched videos on the entire internet. Some of them even surpassed the former record-breaking views of a video of a cat falling off a window ledge in an amusing manner. Surprisingly, some Strip Ludo games had more views than the video of a new dance invented by a Javanese rapper who accidently set fire to his underpants during a dance routine filmed for his new single.

Soon, the first professional Strip Ludo league formed in Grimsby in the UK. Only two seasons later, as several professional leagues formed all over the world, and Canada, the FISL came into being. The FISL then set up the inaugural Strip Ludo World Tournament.

After that, the game seemed unstoppable in its growing domination of the world of sport. So much so, that only two years ago, the first professional Men’s Strip Ludo league was organised. However, there has been only moderate growth in the men’s leagues and only in the warmer countries so far. Many say the men in the colder areas of the world, and Canada, do often fail to measure up to the players from warmer climes.

However, FISL has introduced new regulations governing the ambient temperatures of competitive arenas for the male leagues. There are also moves towards a moratorium on outside fixtures during the colder months for the men’s game. Maybe then, the men’s game will achieve some of the success of the women’s game.

Only time – and temperature – will tell.

 

Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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