Prudent Sex Utensil Drawer Management

It is very important always to remember to put your sexual arousal spatulas back into the sex utensil drawer, ready for next time. For there is nothing more frustrating than having, say, a local librarian or cake shop manageress almost at the point of sexual ecstasy having to wait with ever-decreasing ardour while you search down the back of the sofa, or under the tupping restraints for the sexual arousal spatulas you are certain you left there last time.

It is also probably best not to lend your sex utensils out, not even to friends and close relatives. For you never know when, say, a traffic warden, or VAT inspector may turn up unannounced. When you are suddenly aghast to recall that only the day before you let Grand Uncle Stagnant borrow your sexual arousal spatulas in order to take his favourite ewe of the moment ‘for a little walk down to the river bank’. In such cases, it is also probably advisable to make sure you wash them thoroughly when (if) you get them back.

Yours perversely:

Norbert Trouser-Quandary


A tale from the From the LFITW archive

More from Little Frigging in the Wold here



Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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