Village Green Orgies And The English Summer

Obviously, during a typical British summer, especially a barbecue summer as faithfully promised by our weather forecasters, it is advisable not to try to hold an open-air orgy on the village green, certainly not without snorkels and flippers.

Admittedly, an open-air orgy in snorkels and flippers does have a great deal to recommend it, especially for such perversions as The Smoked Haddock Pandemonium and The Battered Cod Fillet And Assistant Librarian Mushy Pea. This also goes for the more usual aquatic or semi-aquatic perversions you are no doubt already familiar with, such as The Mud-Wrestling Vicar and Campanologist, The Damp Intercourse, and so forth.

However, if the open-air orgy is rained off we can always retire to the village hall and engage in some games until the shower has passed. Of course, you should be familiar with such basic games as Strip Ludo, Naked and Baby-oiled Twister, Erotic Dominoes, Wife-Swapper’s Cribbage and so forth, as well as the fun you can have rack your balls up and getting ready for a good solid poke on the snooker, billiard or Pool table.

Although, for those wishing to play naked pool, there should be plenty of opportunities once the rain has eased off somewhat – hence the usefulness of the snorkels and flippers.

Yours perversely

Norbert Trouser-Quandary


A tale from the From the LFITW archive

More from Little Frigging in the Wold here


Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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