About The Weather

There are times when outdoor, or field, perversions become somewhat problematical. I am sure, by way of example, you are all too familiar with what can happen with weasel liver oil when diluted by water, which makes it unsuitable to use as a lubricant, or other unguent, during a downpour. If there is heavy rain in prospect during your field perversions then I would suggest you equip your perversion utility belt with badger spleen oil, rather than the more usual – for outdoor perversions, that is – weasel liver oil.

It is also wise – and here I speak from personal experience – always to make sure the fresh cream cakes, and – most importantly – the sherry trifles are in some kind of wind-proof container. For you do not want your postmistress to be arriving at the point of total satiation just as you have to break off from the proceedings to chase down an errant chocolate éclair that has been blown under a nearby hedge by a squally north-easterly.

During the summer months, I would suggest that the participants check any leather jockstraps, latex panties or fetish quantity-surveyor underwear thoroughly for wasps, or other such stinging or biting insects, before donning them.

Because, as Old Feebletrousers once discovered, it is not all that comfortable sharing such intimate apparel with a suddenly very confused and annoyed insect, especially one with such a powerful sting. This can be especially unfortunate if the bondage restraints are applied before the presence of the now very irritated insect has been discovered.

It can be even more unfortunate if any gag or similar device or fetish gear has also been applied and any attempts by the unfortunately over-restrained person to dislodge the errant insect is taken as an eagerness for the deviation to continue, rather than be terminated as rapidly as possible.

So, as in all things, especially any over-indulgence in the post-orgy cream cakes – caution is always recommended.

Yours perversely:

Norbert Trouser-Quandary

 

A tale from the From the LFITW archive

More from Little Frigging in the Wold here

 

Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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