Maybe I should think of something else. Maybe I should let these days flow into some other river. Maybe I should walk along different riverbanks. Maybe I should get away from this place.
Maybe it is time to find somewhere else, either in this world or some other new one I have not seen before.
Back Then I thought one lifetime could never be enough for all of one world, let alone all the worlds that lie side by side, half hidden in each other’s shadow and secret places. Back then I knew I had to live forever, that dying seem such a waste of potential and all the unexplored worlds.
Growing old too seemed such a waste of time, a time of wasting too.
So I decided, back then, while I was still young enough to be a fool, that I would no longer confine myself to that one place in that one world I was born in.
Neither would I waste my time by growing old.
I had better things to do.
At least, I thought I did.
Before I understood how different I was, I didn’t understand why other people seemed content to live in one world, being born, growing old and dying there without once wanting to step to the side into the shadows that hold the other worlds against each other. I wondered too why they grew old and died when it was so easy to dismiss time along with the other so-called dimensions.
I had a facility from a young age for numbers. I saw the mathematics of this world. How its numbers created the geometry that both limited this dimension to itself but also allowed the other dimensions to curl up in the smallest of shadows and dark places.
I knew if I took the right formula then I could unravel those other worlds like shaking out a sheet when changing bedclothes. Once that world was shaken out of itself, I could spread that sheet out like a landscape before me and step out onto it.
Time too is just another dimension. I found that if I folded time a certain way, then I would not grow any older. I could live forever and walk all those infinite worlds I spread out before me.
I was young, of course. And so were the women of the worlds I went looking for. They were there waiting to be found. Some of those women had the eyes of poets, the minds of dreamers. They were looking for something, someone who could take them further that the thin worlds they existed in. I took them by the hands and showed them that there was more in any world, and more worlds than any of them could ever want.
I left them behind though, they could never learn how to unfold the worlds or how to take time and fold it into the palm of their hands. They grew old, I grew restless… and then I was alone again.
Now I sit here and I think it is time to fold all those worlds away, and unfold my time I’ve kept folded for centuries too long.
Then I ought to step on through to that other distant world I’ve glimpsed in the eyes of all those I left behind.