You Get the Picture

But even that is not without difficulties.

At least when it is so… well, you get the picture.

Don’t you?


Well, it happens I suppose. After all, this new technology stuff, even though it is less of the new than it once was, still has certain problems doing all the things we are promised it can do.

And that sort of picture appears to be one of them, or at least anyone – such as your good self – getting that particular picture in their inbox.

No fault of your own of course.

Although, why someone like you had to go for the hip and trendy option, instead of the more run of the mill equipment the rest of us use, is one best left for yourself to resolve. Possibly, with professional help. After all, you know what they say about people who feel the need to demonstrate to others their own specialness, don’t we?

Well, maybe wanker is not the term accepted by the majority of psychology professionals, but it does tend to capture the gist.

Although, perhaps at this juncture we should pause to reflect on whether the use of the word wanker, and ‘capture the gist’ in such close, and – indeed – adjacent context is wise.

People could misconstrue.

Especially when we are talking about that particular picture.

After all, it does have a certain… I don’t know if je ne sais quoi is exactly the right phrase I’m searching for here, but it does contain a certain… I can’t say what… about the whole situation.

After all, there was a time not long ago – and with the way things are going, not far into the censorious future – where even the possession of such a picture, but one without this one’s more than obvious artistic merit, would often result in enquiries from the forces of law and order. Not just in order to add to the Chief Constable’s expansive collection of such memorabilia of his time patrolling the less salubrious areas of the locality, either.

Nevertheless it does seem that we have strayed somewhat from the originally purpose of the initial enquiry down one of those side alleys of inconsequentialism that seem to be more common as we age and our attention wand-

Hang on, is that the…?

Only, in a certain light, it does tend to resemble the aforesaid pictorial representation. However, it shows rather less of the MP caught in the compromising situation. However, there are portions of the football strip he was alleged to be wearing at the time of the incident, reflected in the highly polished leather of the young lady’s… er… outfit that she is almost wearing.

Still as the original judge said at the time of the trial, what a couple – even if the young lady is engaged professionally for her time and expertise – do with the melon in the privacy of the MP’s own constituency home, are their own affair. But the camel and the application of warm butter to its hump do raise questions about the possibility of animal cruelty, especially forcing it to get so close to a politician in its highly buttered state.

Which is why the judge ordered all copies of the photograph to be destroyed.

Which brings us back back to my original question… whatever it was.


Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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