A Politics-Free World

Obviously, it is not that obvious… at least not from the most usual angles. After all, discretion is guaranteed in the adverts, and if you can’t trust the advertising industry, whom can you trust?

Certainly not politicians, that is obvious from the marketing of this product.

After all, who amongst us hasn’t wished there would come a point when people just stop politicking at you?

There does come a point when we all wish politics would go away and leave us in peace.

However, there is a problem

After all, though the whole point of politics is to tell people – insistently and at tedious length – that whatever it is they are doing, they are doing it wrong.

Not only that politics after telling everyone they are doing it wrong, not just for themselves, but for everyone else on the planet and in the case of environmentalist politics to the planet itself.

Hence this product.

The fully immersive headset monitors all stimulus from the outside world. It checks that information input against a rapidly expanding database of world history, current affairs and many other subjects to make sure that the wearer experiences no politics whatsoever. All of politics is filtered out so that the wearer can live in a totally politics-free environment.

Thereby the user undergoes a much richer and rewarding existence free from the nagging, hectoring and attempted guilt tripping of politics and its zealots. As many users attest, wearing the device is akin to banishing the clouds and having the sun come out on a warm spring morning. After all, so much of what is wrong with our lives is caused by politics and so much of our misery is caused by those who will not shut up about politics.

The manufacturer guarantees that the device erases all political speech and visuals from the user’s experience of the world. However, as a bonus in the premium version the device replaces all politicians, pundits and political news journalists with cartoon characters from the golden age of cartoons. Arguing politicians are replaced by characters like Elmo Fudd and Bugs Bunny, Tom and Jerry, Daffy Duck and others engaging in conflicts that are far more entertaining  and meaningful than political so-called ‘debate’ and with far better practical real world results.

As we all know, at some point in the past some blithering idiot said ‘everything is politics’. However, we now all know that hardly anything is politics, and almost nothing should be politics. This great device goes a long way towards getting politics out of the lives of ordinary people and puts it back in the gutter where it belongs.

There are rumours that Spliff and Sons Ltd the makers of the device are very strong contenders for the Nobel peace prize next year, for finally coming up with a way to rid the world of a disease that has polluted it for so long and resulted in the untimely tragic deaths of untold millions.

There are many who say that the inventors of this machine richly deserve to win the prize.

 

Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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