As you may, or may not, know (probably the latter, as I’ve never knowingly mentioned it before) Colonel Fitz-Tightly is the closest Little-Frigging-in-the-Wold has to a so-called community leader. Like all such community leaders, it is a position he himself seems to have elected himself to, without reference to anyone else.
Mostly, it seems, this is because he apparently enjoys the sound of his own opinions, and is ever willing to offer instant reactions to anything and everything put to him by the media, without the need for even the slightest pause for reflection. This is – of course – a big plus in the contemporary 24-hour instant media world, which prizes immediate reaction far higher than sober reflection or apposite judgement.
Consequently – as with all such people in the media, especially those performing in the punditry circus – it seems the ones that get the most attention are the ones always willing to ‘put the show on right here’, at the drop of a sound bite.
Although, he usually has no time or aptitude for realising much, the Colonel has seemingly realised the above. So, Foaming Lickspittle, the editor of our village newspaper, knows that if he needs an instant opinion on anything at all.
For example, from litter on the Little Frigging village green to an analysis of our chances in the Upper Thyghspreader Inter-Village Sexual Perversions Cup, then a quick call to Colonel Fitz-Tightly is all that is necessary in order to fill up that troublesome white space between the adverts in The Little-Frigging-In-The-Wold Gleaner.
A tale from the From the LFITW archive
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