The Definitive Piece

So, anyway… well, perhaps this is not the sort of thing you are expecting. After all, it has been said in the past that… er… something or other is not necessarily, or in some cases is necessarily so.

Except in those cases when the opposite is… well, the case.

Having said that though, we do sometimes … well, you may after all you must be somewhat that way inclined to be perusing this… this… whatever it is in such an avid… or in some cases not quite so avid a fashion.


Where was I?

Reading back, I don’t think I was actually anywhere, not yet. Sometimes it takes a bit of time to get up and running with these things. Especially when what you were going to write about has slipped the mind completely between sitting down all ready to write the definitive piece on… whatever it was, and having to get up to let the cat out, the dog in, and a myriad other tasks that prevent finger hitting keyboard.

When, at last, the animals are sorted into their desired locations, their water bowls are filled and the food dishes have been dealt with, then you can sit down and really get to work on that definitive piece that put the world to rights about… well, about whatever it was.

I seem to recall, it had a lot of cogent arguments all about that great burning issue of the day that none of us can get off our minds.

Except me… apparently, when I have so much other stuff I have to remember.

Hang on…

Almost forgot about that.

I’m glad I remembered before she noticed.

She gets annoyed about things like that.

You can usually tell what is going to annoy her.

If I’ve done it, then it is wrong, obviously. What is more she is convinced I’ve done it that way just to annoy her.

I ought to know after all these years not to do that, especially in that way and why don’t I just leave it for her to do. After all, she is the one who knows how to do it correctly, without making all that mess that only a woman can see… or care about.

But if I don’t do it, then I’m leaving it to her, and she has to do everything around here and I’m just an idle… well, you get the picture.

If only I could be idle.

I dream of being idle.

At least then, I wouldn’t have to sit here at this computer every morning trying to come up with the definitive piece on the burning issue of the day… whatever that is today.

Was it that thing about…?

No, that was last week, and the jury found him innocent, which no-one was expecting.

There was that thing about the woman who said something on Twitter a few days ago. That was on Twitter, though. So no one except the media and the twitter obsessives knows or cares about that.

So anyway, the burning issue of the day…

Bloody hell, is that the time?

Sod it, I’ll do it tomorrow.



Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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