The Inter-Village Orgy League Team Squad

Of course, applying the grommet to the seating point just under the offside mud flap of your oiled and naked left inside full-frontal forward wingback is quite an easy and straightforward piece of elementary orgy squad tactical maintenance. It is nowhere near as complex as a complete re-orienteering of your right midfield outside fondler after being caught fully exposed in the opposition’s box.

This is why I always maintain that a good Inter-Village Orgy League touchline coaching team should always have a full set (both metric and imperial) of sexual perversion spatulas available at all times. You never know whether – for example – your centre fondler is ever going to be quite perverted enough on a muddy pitch until she is out there getting a good grasp on the opponent’s intimate defences.

Now, you may say that this is all well and good, but shouldn’t a good orgy League squad be chosen and balanced to cover all sorts of contingencies on the orgy field? Shouldn’t a team coach be able to field a team without having to make such adjustments and tactical readjustments during the match?

I would agree – in an ideal world – that it would be so.

However, this is far from an ideal world – just look for example at the price of a decent pint of beer. But I digress. There is always something unforeseen in each and every match in the Inter-Village Orgy League. That is why it is all so fascinating for the spectators.

Injuries, of course, are the most common problem, from a slightly bruised ardour right up to the dreaded itchy knee. But there are always tactical considerations to take into account when making those instant decisions that can – and do – win or lose a match.

 

Norbert Trouser-Quandary

 

A tale from the From the LFITW archive

More from Little Frigging in the Wold here

 

Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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