Secret Services

Sometimes it gets like that. But perhaps this is not the time or the place to discuss such matters, especially when they could be watching.

After all, we know they are out there, don’t we?

Watching our every move, recording everything we say… or do.

You think that thing you do with the watermelon and the oil from a tin of anchovies is your little secret? A little something you only indulge in when watching reruns of Happy Days while your spouse is at meetings of the local Allotment Society.

Well, no….

They know all about that, and they know what your spouse gets up to with the rest of the allotment committee, and those prize-winning courgettes they are all so proud of.

There are things recording us all, everywhere and all the time. For who knows what will happen, who will enter the spotlight?

After all, just look at the current crop of politicians. If people like that can rise to positions of power and influence, then what is to stop anyone, including her at number 47, who is no better than she ought to be, rising to a prominent cabinet position in the government, privy to national secrets and security concerns.

Back in the old days, when we all lived in small villages, we used to keep an eye on each other. We made sure that everyone kept in line. After all, you didn’t want to get on the wrong side of you neighbours when they could so easily denounce you as a witch, a fornicator with the devil, or even a scrivener.

Nowadays, though we live in towns and cities where it is too hard for us to keep track of our neighbours and other denizens of our locality. We did at one time outsource our spying on our neighbours to the government, both local and national. But we all know how useless governments are at even getting around to emptying our bins in a timely manner. Or, for that matter, using the tracking devices now built into our bins for doing something about that odd couple a couple of streets away who dump strangely shaped black bin bags of… who knows what… next to their bin each collection day.

As for the national government… or other arenas of political incompetence like the EU or the UN… well, there is no need to list their myriad failings.

No, it is much better now the private sector have taken over gathering up all our personal information and using it for their own purposes. At least now, we know there is a greater chance of accuracy. We believe that they will get it right about the watermelon, and not try to sell us tins of tuna in spring water rather than the anchovies in oil.

After all, why bother with personal confidentiality and secrecy, when we never really had it in the first place? The neighbours always knew you were a wrong ‘un and when the internet police come to drag you away early one morning, they’ll hardly bother to twitch their curtains. After all, they could watch it all in detail online at any time later.


Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

One thought on “Secret Services

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