There are times when disciplinary measures do have to be taken against certain denizens of Little Frigging who have – in some way – transgressed the social Norms, or who have not behaved in the fully upstanding way one would expect of one’s friends and acquaintances.
Now, for serious transgressions of the law we – in Little Frigging – can always count on our village policeman PC Ghonnemadd to find his way to the scene of the crime, usually just after last orders has been call at The Pervert’s Appendage. However, as for the transgressions of the social norms, both the Norms are very social indeed, especially at the village orgies, where their transgressions are always very tasteful. Little Norm, for example, always looks very fetching in a dress donkey jacket, rubber stockings and high-heel wellies, although the full-length gnomish bead does tend to slightly spoil the effect to my mind.
Whereas Big Norm always does his best to live up to – if not exceed – the expectations of the Little Frigging Ladies Wine and Knitting Appreciation Society. Many of the ladies in the society have often said how much they appreciate the lengths Big Norm will go to in order to meet their desires.
Anyway, as I was saying, we in the village have evolved our own methods of dealing with those who cross the line. For up on the hill, just past the traditional rural Indian takeaway, there is a large gloomy house, which – were this to be fiction – would be regarded as the stereotypical haunted house.
However, here in Little Frigging, that house is home to a fine proud pair of young ladies of outstanding firmness of moral principle and purpose we in the village know colloquially as the Strappon sisters.
These two ladies have taken it upon themselves to administer the kind of rough justice to any such miscreant delivered to them with a firmness of purpose that will impress upon the ne’er-do-well that unsociable acts have consequences that will leave him (or – upon occasion – her) unable to sit comfortably with themselves for several weeks.
A tale from the From the LFITW archive
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