Well, Actually Not Very Much in Particular

Spamblock Damsongoat is now best known throughout the world as a leading proponent of… well, actually not very much in particular. With the ever-increasing amount of TV channels, websites, podcasts, e-books and other forms of media outlets, it is becoming increasingly apparent that the world is running out of people who know stuff. The world is already jam-packed with people who know stuff and even more people who think they know stuff, but don’t. All of these people have websites, YouTube channels, podcasts, e-books and sometimes even newspaper columns and TV shows of their own. All of them, have something to sell and all of them – sometimes including even those that do actually know stuff – eventually do get on your tits.

Especially when they have some new product to flog.

Consequently, this is why Damsongoat has become such a new media star. Not only does he no know much about anything, he has no real interest in imparting what little he does know. In addition, he has no new product to sell, except his complete and utter ability to talk for a full thirty-minute programme segment about… well, actually not very much in particular.

Of course, there are many out there, on online video channels especially, as well as – obviously – on blogs and suchlike who do not say anything of much interest, use or even slight concern. Otherwise, the internet would not be as full as it is with time sinks. However, such is Damsongoat’s talent that he can make all these others seem not only insightful, relevant and useful, but also entertaining in a way that Damsongoat’s approach is not.

Damsongoat however, is very addictive in his very lack of all the things that make some watchable, and the other attributes that make so many more completely unwatchable.

Damsongoat just is.

For example, in his latest podcast where he discusses his remarkable collection of some of the less interesting spoons from history, he doesn’t bore the audience as leave them indifferent, but still watching, waiting for something to happen. But – and this is where Damsongoat’s great talent lies – nothing ever does happen. Even in his most-watched on-line video My Collection of 1970s Men’s Magazines, there is nothing remotely of interest in his presentation. And  there is not even the glance of even a partial nipple, but still people are entranced by Damsongoat’s ability to take a subject that is quite uninteresting to them and yet make it even duller, but – significantly – not quite dull enough for them to stop watching.

After all, today’s sophisticated viewer of online videos and other such ephemera is more than used to things that promise to be hilarious, fascinating, shocking, outrageous and other similar superlatives ending up as riveting, fascinating and  essential viewing as last night’s cold washing-up water, but somehow such is Damsongoat’s talent he can still make people watch.

Of course, it was not long before such talent, and his willingness to work cheap, attracted the TV channels, all willing to pay him to present a weekly programme on whatever subject matter took his fancy.

The first of Damsongoat’s new TV show comes out next week and everyone both inside the industry and outside is expecting Well, Actually Not Very Much in Particular to be a great success. We can only wait and see, and – no doubt – be vaguely interested in what the programme is about, yet be curiously unwilling to change the channel… and it is for that the TV channels will be more than grateful.

 

Published by David Hadley

A Bloke. Occasionally points at ducks.

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