But Then Again

But then again, you have to stop and ask yourself the important question… then you decide you can’t be arsed and carry on anyway. After all, you are here in the kitchen, holding a spoon. There must be some reason for it. You came into the kitchen full of purpose, decisive and ready for action,Continue reading “But Then Again”

All-Village Weekend Orgy Tea-Breaks

It goes without saying, although I am going to say it anyway, that all manner of subjects come up for discussion during the statutory tea breaks taken part-way through any all-village weekend orgy in the village hall. Obviously as this is England, the subject of the weather is one of perennial fascination. Especially the wayContinue reading “All-Village Weekend Orgy Tea-Breaks”

Military History and the Tea Break

Back in those premodern days, of course, it was very difficult to get a decent mobile phone signal. This meant that many battles in the medieval era were fought without either opposing army having easy access to a takeaway delivery service. Often the battling armies were both hungry and possibly even thirsty. Consequently, the armyContinue reading “Military History and the Tea Break”

The Secrets of Britain’s Most Popular TV Cooking Programme

Dysentery Seasonalrelish is probably the UK’s latest leading celebrity cook. Her signature dish – the fish finger and tomato ketchup sandwich –according to food experts and TV critics alike – has revolutionised the whole genre of TV cooking shows. As we all know, cooking programmes on the TV are a form of food porn. PeopleContinue reading “The Secrets of Britain’s Most Popular TV Cooking Programme”

The Great Breakfast War

Sir Haberdashery Parkingrestrictions was probably the most famous English knight during the long and bloody time of the Twenty-Seven Year, Two Months and Five Weeks War that raged across Europe towards the end of the Middle-Ages. It was Henry VIII’s need to get his leg over in a legitimate way that led to England’s breakContinue reading “The Great Breakfast War”

The Rude and Naughty – Both Theoretical and Applied

Semblance Wombatdesign is best known as the world’s leading expert on the Rude and Naughty at both theoretical and applied levels. Her General Theory of Kink is often cited as the groundbreaking work in the field, especially in the field (or allotment) where the use of the dibber for erotic purposes has now become theContinue reading “The Rude and Naughty – Both Theoretical and Applied”

Now Available on Kindle: All-Nude Chicken Intriguing

All-Nude Chicken Intriguing: Tales of the Unexpurgated Volume I A massive miscellany of hilariously surreal inconsequence. This comedy collection tells you – quite possibly – more than you thought you needed to know about such diverse subjects as, All-Nude Chicken Intriguing, Underwater Cookery, Naked Orienteering and Weasel Appreciation Day. it reveals the true stories behindContinue reading “Now Available on Kindle: All-Nude Chicken Intriguing”

Spotweld Trundlebiscuit and Food Activism

Spotweld Trundlebiscuit is probably the world’s best-known Anti-Salad activist. For over two decades now Trundlebiscuit and his many supporters, followers and admirers have waged a campaign against what they see as humankind’s war on meat. Trundlebiscuit has long claimed that it is unnatural for human beings to eat vegetables and that doing so only causesContinue reading “Spotweld Trundlebiscuit and Food Activism”

Cheese Philosophy in the Modern World

Quickpint Parallelbars is probably the UK’s leading philosopher of modern cheeses. These days he is more concerned about the role that modern cheeses play in ethics. However, he first came to philosophical fame for his work at the University of Bilston (formerly the Bilston Public Baths). Most notably, for his ground-breaking research into the conjunctionContinue reading “Cheese Philosophy in the Modern World”

Dark Matter and the General Theory of Socks

News has emerged that scientists are on the verge of understanding one of the deepest mysteries of the universe. For a long time now, physicists, cosmologists and astronomers have long puzzled over the fact that a large amount of matter in the universe appears to be missing. They call this mysterious missing material dark matter.Continue reading “Dark Matter and the General Theory of Socks”

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