Blowin’ Free

Well now, as it happens today sees the first day of Little Frigging’s Annual Village Free Fondle Week. All the denizens of Little Frigging have decked themselves out in their traditional free-fondling outfits and fondling mittens, and we have all been furiously polishing our sex spatulas in readiness. Of course, these days these traditional ruralContinue reading “Blowin’ Free”

The Writing Life

It was one of those times. Times when there was nothing to say. But he was a writer, he was not going to let that stop him. There was a page here, waiting to be filled with words. So, he would fill it full of words. It was what he did. Except that… Maybe notContinue reading “The Writing Life”

When the Dreams Don’t Let Go

Sometimes the night holds on too tight. The dreams are reluctant to let us go, they hold us there in a world we know is not our own, but we’re unable to find the route back to this world we call real. There have been dreamers lost in the night, even as the long summerContinue reading “When the Dreams Don’t Let Go”

Allotment Perversions – A Primer

For those of you who like to make use of your dibber and hoe, there is chance aplenty to get much more out of it by getting involved in allotment perversions. For those that enjoy a courgette, or – in more advanced situations – a marrow, apparently there is nothing quite like taking yourself inContinue reading “Allotment Perversions – A Primer”

Pondering a Stoat

These days, Hartlepool Disembarkation is probably best known as one of the world’s first female Stoat Ponderers. Back in those days, stoat pondering was considered very much a male occupation. As with most things in the Victorian era, women were regarded as somehow too ideal to be considered capable of pondering anything quite as enigmaticContinue reading “Pondering a Stoat”

Plankton Thermocline’s Underwater Adventures

Plankton Thermocline was one of the late 20th century’s greatest explorers. We all remember watching Plankton Thermocline’s Underwater Adventures. This series was one of the first to show the delights and wonders of the underwater world in full colour on our TVs. With his custom designed wellies, Thermocline splashed around in some of the deepestContinue reading “Plankton Thermocline’s Underwater Adventures”

University Fees and the Perverse Arts and Sciences

There is still much talk of late about University course fees and who should pay them and how much they should be. Obviously, we at the University of Little Frigging (formerly the cow shed at Little Frigging Manor Farm) are more than keen that the students should pay as much as we can get outContinue reading “University Fees and the Perverse Arts and Sciences”

Excessive Amounts of Baby Oil

‘Well…’ Now, isn’t this cosy? Just the two of us… well, apart from… y’know. ‘I’m a bit nervous.’ There’s no need for that, we are friends, after all, aren’t we? ‘Well…’ Can’t you say something a bit more interesting than just well, all the time? ‘You created me this way.’ I know, but I thoughtContinue reading “Excessive Amounts of Baby Oil”

The World in her Hands

She held the small blue green sphere in the open palm of her hand. It didn’t quite rest on her palm, but floated above it, revolving slowly. ‘What is it?’ I bent to peer down at it. ‘It is the world… this world.’ I looked up, around at her bedroom. ‘Seriously? Come on.’ Shenta lookedContinue reading “The World in her Hands”

Medieval Woodland Perversions

Of course, many of you may be keen to learn more about the use of woodland perversions in a historical context. Rather than disabuse you of this notion, I thought it would be far easier for all concerned if I shed a little light upon a specific period of historical interest for your edification. Therefore,Continue reading “Medieval Woodland Perversions”

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