Going for a Walk

Far be it from me – about 1473 miles as the crow flies providing there is no French air traffic control strike – to make any such claim as to the veracity of what is about to be now undertaken. But occasionally these things need to be aired and aired in public. That is whatContinue reading “Going for a Walk”

The Naked Gardener

Now world-famous for trimming her bush live on BBC3.142’s Naked Gardening, Herbaceous Seedling has become a horticultural media sensation. Countless millions of viewers have watched her uncanny prowess with handling a dibber on web video Sites. Her naked gardening DVDs have outsold not only the top-selling porn DVDs but also the recordings of semi-naked actorsContinue reading “The Naked Gardener”

Strip Ludo and World Domination

Spanglethighs Dromedarywrench is probably the UK’s most underrated Strip Ludo player currently on the scene. As we all know, Strip Ludo is a highly-competitive game, especially at the professional level. These days, some Strip Ludo Grand Mistresses have to live beyond Earth orbit for tax reasons. Every four years, the Strip Ludo World Tournament isContinue reading “Strip Ludo and World Domination”

A Historical Bent

Those of you of a historical bent will no doubt be aware that these days you can get an ointment for it. Not only that, you will no doubt be familiar with the legend of Lady Godiva of Coventry. However, you may not be aware of a similar historical figure from the annals of theContinue reading “A Historical Bent”

Strom Thighhammer – Outstanding Tourist Attraction

Of late LFITW has often found itself on the tourist map for many different reasons – most, of course, having to do with the village’s well-known expertise in the matters of the rude, moist and extremely naughty. One of our biggest draws- in several senses of the word – is our proudly upstanding village blacksmith,Continue reading “Strom Thighhammer – Outstanding Tourist Attraction”

Evolution and Celebrity

For many decades now evolutionary psychologists and biologists have wondered just what is the point of celebrities. As we know, celebrities seem to do very little other than gain media attention, often for the most banal of reasons. All a celebrity has to do is walk down the street for scores of paparazzi, celebrity watchesContinue reading “Evolution and Celebrity”

Celebrity Wardrobe Malfunctions

Recently the world of entertainment has been rocked by reports of the increasing problem of celebrity wardrobe malfunctions. For example, there was an incident at the last Oscars ceremony where celebrities gathered to give each other meaningless statuettes. The assembled stars – and the fans who had come along to gawp at them – wereContinue reading “Celebrity Wardrobe Malfunctions”

Christmas Charity Appeal

The world’s most famous film star, Pumpkin Dropincentre, was yesterday announced as the face of a brand new charity. This new charity has been set up to help counter what has become one of the most serious problems of the modern age. As Dropincentre herself said at the launch of the new charity, ‘for farContinue reading “Christmas Charity Appeal”

The Modern Improved Cycle Race

Pedalo Velodrome is probably the world’s best-known cyclist. Not only has he won the Tour de France seventeen times, he is also one of the few cyclists to survive the far more punishing Tour of Tipton. It is well-known that those who do not cycle as fast as they can through some of the moreContinue reading “The Modern Improved Cycle Race”

The New Celebrity World

These days Stopgap Madeupname is probably the world’s leading celebrity fencepost. In the past, it was usually only humans who achieved celebrity status, or had that celebrity status thrust upon them. However, such is the unpredictable nature of humans, especially when it comes to the various bad habits and other commercially unwelcome traits of humanity,Continue reading “The New Celebrity World”

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