The Scented Allotment

Toast Stoataffronter is now not really one of the most famous of people. After all, neither you nor I have ever heard of him before. However, I have discovered just how famous – or, rather, infamous – he became during the Victorian era and its immediate aftermath, and that is only because I discovered hisContinue reading “The Scented Allotment”

The Rise of the Robots

It may look like that in a certain light, but then what do you expect these days? They – whoever they are – say you get what you pay for, and I’m certainly paying for it now. As you are too… probably, if you made the same mistake. After all, the adverts promised a life-changingContinue reading “The Rise of the Robots”

The World’s Greatest Living Rock Star

Goatchin Trebleclef is probably the world’s most famous sill semi-coherent rock star. As lead singer/lead guitarist with 70s supergroup Turgid Braindribble Trebleclef was once regarded as the leading cultural figure of that decade. Mainly for his over-tight jeans and his powerful rock voice, which could – it was alleged – knock down an industrial chimneyContinue reading “The World’s Greatest Living Rock Star”

Arts Council Grant

I come* hot foot and moist in the groin area from a meeting with our local Arts Council representative, Phyllis Styne. She has – it seems – managed to procure a grant for our village of Little Frigging in the Wold to stage an annual Traditional Rural Perversions Fair under the auspices of the ArtsContinue reading “Arts Council Grant”

Woodland Rites

Clutching our sex spanners close to our palpitating chests, we wormed our way through the entangling undergrowth towards the very edge of the clearing. There we waited, tense and trepidatious, as the scene unfolded before us. Of course, the sheep were there, freshly dipped in exotic unguents and resplendent in their various fetish gear, glintingContinue reading “Woodland Rites”

Rural Sports – The Hunt

Now, indeed. So, here we are then, one lightly-buttered strumpet later and eagerly ready for whatever the rest of this splendid evening can bring. I find there is nothing like an early slight deviation – or kink – for setting off the evening before the full-bloodied orgy begins later in the Little Frigging village hall.Continue reading “Rural Sports – The Hunt”

Somewhat Ironic

So…. Well, don’t look at me. I have no idea. It was like that when I found it. Well, maybe titled a little more over towards widdershins, if I’m honest. But I had to check. I mean after all, how long has it been since we had one like that? I mean that is aContinue reading “Somewhat Ironic”

Anti-Social Media

Dolequeue Stringdiseases is probably best known these days as the inventor of the social media site GetOutofMyFace. GetOutofMyFace is probably the least welcoming and most toxic of the social media sites. But that was Stringdiseases great insight. This insight made him a multibillionaire at the relatively young age – even for Silicon Valley – ofContinue reading “Anti-Social Media”

Those Special Days

Once or twice… no more than that. Oh, but there was that time in the woods at the back of the paint thinner factory. She was in the mood that day. I think it had something to do with the heat, or maybe it was just because it was a Thursday – she’s always hadContinue reading “Those Special Days”

Better Than This

She stood in the doorway. It was a bit literal, but it was only a first draft after all. She’d been in worse stories. Some even by this writer. It was a bit sad really. At one time, when she first became fictional for him, she thought he had a future. He had a certainContinue reading “Better Than This”

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