Back In Those Formica-Coated Days

It was back in those Formica-coated days of our young dreams where the idea of instant soup was only just making inroads into the consciousness of this nation. Oh, we had brown paper and string aplenty, but the vacuum pack was not even on the horizon. Therefore, we had no inkling of what horrors wereContinue reading “Back In Those Formica-Coated Days”

Labour Party Fears Loss Of Client Group

In a speech probably at sometime today, someone you’ve never heard of who -apparently – is in the government, will claim that, in most cases, those categorised as part of a so-called ‘ethnic minority’ are not now as disadvantaged as in the past. In his speech, the non-entity goes on to say: If racism is,Continue reading “Labour Party Fears Loss Of Client Group”

When Celebrities Do… Stuff!

When Celebrities Do…Stuff! The outrageous new TV series brought to you by the person who fetched the sandwiches for the production team that made so many other celebrity and reality dirt-cheap brain-dead TV programmes like: Celebrity Nose-Pickings Exposed!, Real Ordinary People Doing Embarrassing Stuff On TV, Celebrity Test Card Trials, Hermit Idol and many, manyContinue reading “When Celebrities Do… Stuff!”

Serving Suggestion

Well, think of a number. Done that? Good. Now forget it again. Instigate an inquiry into seven apricots. Think of an aardvark. Colour it purple and call it Nigel. Venerate your spatula. Now, once you have all the ingredients in the bowl, mix them well and then leave to marinate in a cool place –Continue reading “Serving Suggestion”

Raiders Of The Lost Car Park

The engines are all on the blink again as the petrol run low once more. Our thighs are all aquiver with foreboding as we make our way down these dark side streets, following the ancient runes that point our way towards… towards… towards we do not know what, but when we get there… if weContinue reading “Raiders Of The Lost Car Park”

Doubts Cast On Authenticity Of Holy Relic

Yesterday, it emerged that further doubts have been cast over the authenticity of the so-called Wolverhampton T-shirt of Nhigel, supposedly the very t-shirt that the great prophet Nhigel (May His Plums Dangle Mightily) wore on the fabled Night of the Last Kebab in the Uttabollux Holy City of Tourhisttrhap, the very night that Nhigel (MHPDM)Continue reading “Doubts Cast On Authenticity Of Holy Relic”

Artist Wins BBC2 Art Show

Artist Undercoat Pointillist last night won BBC2’s pseudo-highbrow talent show Infant School Artshow with her ‘amazing piece’ called simply Old Rope. Her piece, which consists of a length of old rope thrown casually down on a table impressed the judges with, what one judge, the famous Brit Art artist, Lepidoptera Disestablishment, called: Its sheer presenceContinue reading “Artist Wins BBC2 Art Show”

Government Claims Recycling Success!

The British government announced today that one of its longest re-cycling schemes had been an out and out success, but that it was now appropriate to ‘call time on it’ as it was ‘all starting to look a bit silly’.‘For well over thirty years now,’ The minister for Claiming Dubious Government Successes, Julia Brown-Tongue, claimed,Continue reading “Government Claims Recycling Success!”

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