Building Utopia

But, of course, she would say that. Amongst many, many other things. There must be some sort of list somewhere that she keeps updated. A list of all your shortcomings… yes, especially those ones. You – apparently – have faults that you didn’t even know were faults. But still, it is not enough that youContinue reading “Building Utopia”

Offendatron 5000

These days it is growing increasingly difficult for people to keep up with social media, especially if they have accounts on more than one platform. For most people, this is not much of a problem as most of their social media consists of liking cat pictures and standing in front of their own camera inContinue reading “Offendatron 5000”

A Life in Politics

Perambulator Duodenum was born into a wealthy upper middle-class family. He was privately educated (to little or no real effect) at one of Britain’s top public schools. After leaving Oxford with a double 5th in Post-Colonial Allotment Studies, Perambulator Duodenum received a generous trust fund. His parents set up the fund when they discovered thatContinue reading “A Life in Politics”

Arts Council Grant

I come* hot foot and moist in the groin area from a meeting with our local Arts Council representative, Phyllis Styne. She has – it seems – managed to procure a grant for our village of Little Frigging in the Wold to stage an annual Traditional Rural Perversions Fair under the auspices of the ArtsContinue reading “Arts Council Grant”

Bicycle Clips

Today we will discuss the significance of our bespoke bicycle clips as they glitter and glister in the morning sunlight, as Maureen and I – once more – mount our tandem in our seemingly never-ending quest to bring you tales of instruction and stories of edification. You may ask – and I’ll admit it isContinue reading “Bicycle Clips”

Anti-Social Media

Dolequeue Stringdiseases is probably best known these days as the inventor of the social media site GetOutofMyFace. GetOutofMyFace is probably the least welcoming and most toxic of the social media sites. But that was Stringdiseases great insight. This insight made him a multibillionaire at the relatively young age – even for Silicon Valley – ofContinue reading “Anti-Social Media”

The Reality-Based Community and its Enemies

Over the last few decades, it has become increasingly apparent, especially to self-styled progressives (sic) and ideological fundamentalists, that the current reality we inhabit is simply not good enough for them. This is causing increasing concern especially to those infected with politics who are obsessed with what they see as fairness and equality. Consequently, thereContinue reading “The Reality-Based Community and its Enemies”

Little Frigging All-Nude Mass Pogo Stick Display Team

The Little Frigging All-Nude Mass Pogo Stick display team are preparing themselves for an exhibition of pogo-stick based perversions at the UK Annual Rude And Naughty Exhibition at the O2 Arena, in London at the end of this month. As you probably know, if you indulge in a frequent perusal of my organ whenever IContinue reading “Little Frigging All-Nude Mass Pogo Stick Display Team”

Going for a Walk

Far be it from me – about 1473 miles as the crow flies providing there is no French air traffic control strike – to make any such claim as to the veracity of what is about to be now undertaken. But occasionally these things need to be aired and aired in public. That is whatContinue reading “Going for a Walk”

Llamas and Bureaucracy – A Crisis in the Making

Still, I suppose you know what llamas are like. Most people these days have at least some familiarity with what was once regarded as exotic wildlife – at least in places far from their natural habit – through the medium of the TV nature documentary. Although, even these days, there are still some people whoContinue reading “Llamas and Bureaucracy – A Crisis in the Making”

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