University Fees and the Perverse Arts and Sciences

There is still much talk of late about University course fees and who should pay them and how much they should be. Obviously, we at the University of Little Frigging (formerly the cow shed at Little Frigging Manor Farm) are more than keen that the students should pay as much as we can get outContinue reading “University Fees and the Perverse Arts and Sciences”

Sex Magyck

‘Where do you want it?’ Zena said. ‘What?’ Grent was distracted. This was always an awkward part of the course with his male students, but with a female… a young and very attractive woman, well…. ‘All this stuff, where shall I put it?’ It was only then Grent noticed Zena was holding a box ofContinue reading “Sex Magyck”

The Power of Numbers

Think of a number…. No, not that one… how could you? We all know the sort of mind that thinks of a number like that… don’t we? Of course, it is all well and good thinking of that particular number when you are young, and… shall we say… a bit frisky. But when you getContinue reading “The Power of Numbers”

Building Utopia

But, of course, she would say that. Amongst many, many other things. There must be some sort of list somewhere that she keeps updated. A list of all your shortcomings… yes, especially those ones. You – apparently – have faults that you didn’t even know were faults. But still, it is not enough that youContinue reading “Building Utopia”

The Sensual Mathematician

It is usually not until after the age of puberty that we realise just how sexy the number 7 is. After that, it seems we become obsessed with mathematics and seeing numbers in all their naked glory. Back in the days before the internet how many of us used to lie under the bedcovers atContinue reading “The Sensual Mathematician”

Advanced Sexual Perversions – Lesson 1

Now, if you first tether the donkey 73.25 degrees widdershins of the last tupping shed to the left (facing North), then you can apply the parsnip, gently in a clockwise motion until it is fully seated. Then – and only then – you can take a firm grasp on your rod and manipulate it untilContinue reading “Advanced Sexual Perversions – Lesson 1”

Strom Thighhammer – Outstanding Tourist Attraction

Of late LFITW has often found itself on the tourist map for many different reasons – most, of course, having to do with the village’s well-known expertise in the matters of the rude, moist and extremely naughty. One of our biggest draws- in several senses of the word – is our proudly upstanding village blacksmith,Continue reading “Strom Thighhammer – Outstanding Tourist Attraction”

News from the University of Little Frigging in the Wold

I am surprised, humbled, pleased – and slightly aroused – to announce formally that I have been made Emeritus Professor of Applied and Theoretical Orgiastics at the University of Little Frigging (formerly the small cowshed at the back of Trouser-Quandary farm). This will enable me to pass on to a new young generation of putativeContinue reading “News from the University of Little Frigging in the Wold”

How To Do Perversion – Part One

Well, now, of course if you have a well-lubricated llama (I find a good rubbing with linseed oil rather invigorating myself, but for the llama any old oil will do). Then you can proceed to the next step. This is, obviously enough, to make sure that the traffic warden is securely fastened to the tableContinue reading “How To Do Perversion – Part One”

The Theoretical Nature of Theories of Nature

These days, Rectangle Spiralstaircase is best remembered as the instigator of what later became known as Theory Theory. For a long time in the past people had noticed things, but it wasn’t until the Victorian era when natural philosophers became gentlemen scientists that it became fashionable, especially in polite circles to have a theory ofContinue reading “The Theoretical Nature of Theories of Nature”

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