Juggling Balls – Episode 1

Chapter 1   Martin Laws had not – as yet – quite got the hang of mornings. They had an annoying tendency to start before he was ready. By the time he managed to get both eyelids co-ordinated enough to stay open together, the morning had been up and about for hours. It was bright,Continue reading “Juggling Balls – Episode 1”

Blowin’ Free

Well now, as it happens today sees the first day of Little Frigging’s Annual Village Free Fondle Week. All the denizens of Little Frigging have decked themselves out in their traditional free-fondling outfits and fondling mittens, and we have all been furiously polishing our sex spatulas in readiness. Of course, these days these traditional ruralContinue reading “Blowin’ Free”

The Prize Winner

Well… there you have it. At least providing you managed to get your application form entered in time. And if you were one of the lucky ones, selected at random to go through to the second stage. And if you completed the assault course in under 15 minutes while carrying the elderly relative in aContinue reading “The Prize Winner”

Allotment Perversions – A Primer

For those of you who like to make use of your dibber and hoe, there is chance aplenty to get much more out of it by getting involved in allotment perversions. For those that enjoy a courgette, or – in more advanced situations – a marrow, apparently there is nothing quite like taking yourself inContinue reading “Allotment Perversions – A Primer”

Pondering a Stoat

These days, Hartlepool Disembarkation is probably best known as one of the world’s first female Stoat Ponderers. Back in those days, stoat pondering was considered very much a male occupation. As with most things in the Victorian era, women were regarded as somehow too ideal to be considered capable of pondering anything quite as enigmaticContinue reading “Pondering a Stoat”

Plankton Thermocline’s Underwater Adventures

Plankton Thermocline was one of the late 20th century’s greatest explorers. We all remember watching Plankton Thermocline’s Underwater Adventures. This series was one of the first to show the delights and wonders of the underwater world in full colour on our TVs. With his custom designed wellies, Thermocline splashed around in some of the deepestContinue reading “Plankton Thermocline’s Underwater Adventures”

University Fees and the Perverse Arts and Sciences

There is still much talk of late about University course fees and who should pay them and how much they should be. Obviously, we at the University of Little Frigging (formerly the cow shed at Little Frigging Manor Farm) are more than keen that the students should pay as much as we can get outContinue reading “University Fees and the Perverse Arts and Sciences”

Excessive Amounts of Baby Oil

‘Well…’ Now, isn’t this cosy? Just the two of us… well, apart from… y’know. ‘I’m a bit nervous.’ There’s no need for that, we are friends, after all, aren’t we? ‘Well…’ Can’t you say something a bit more interesting than just well, all the time? ‘You created me this way.’ I know, but I thoughtContinue reading “Excessive Amounts of Baby Oil”

A Politics-Free World

Obviously, it is not that obvious… at least not from the most usual angles. After all, discretion is guaranteed in the adverts, and if you can’t trust the advertising industry, whom can you trust? Certainly not politicians, that is obvious from the marketing of this product. After all, who amongst us hasn’t wished there wouldContinue reading “A Politics-Free World”

Medieval Woodland Perversions

Of course, many of you may be keen to learn more about the use of woodland perversions in a historical context. Rather than disabuse you of this notion, I thought it would be far easier for all concerned if I shed a little light upon a specific period of historical interest for your edification. Therefore,Continue reading “Medieval Woodland Perversions”

Create your website with WordPress.com
Get started