The World’s Greatest Living Rock Star

Goatchin Trebleclef is probably the world’s most famous sill semi-coherent rock star. As lead singer/lead guitarist with 70s supergroup Turgid Braindribble Trebleclef was once regarded as the leading cultural figure of that decade. Mainly for his over-tight jeans and his powerful rock voice, which could – it was alleged – knock down an industrial chimneyContinue reading “The World’s Greatest Living Rock Star”

When Every Day is One of Those Days

It was one of those days. He could tell. He’d had many of those days. He’d had a lifetime of those days. Sometimes Sam wondered what he’d done to deserve this life, but on the whole he tried not to think about it. Doreen was asleep, a sort of occasional half-snore emanating from her sideContinue reading “When Every Day is One of Those Days”

On Brussels Sprouts and Other Erotica

Concerning the Brussels sprouts of our fevered erotic imaginings and longings, it is not hard – although it soon will be – to see why such sexually provocative brassicas have such a firm grip on our erotic desires and urgings. The sprout – far from just the hideous vegetable of childhood mealtimes – does –Continue reading “On Brussels Sprouts and Other Erotica”

Offendatron 5000

These days it is growing increasingly difficult for people to keep up with social media, especially if they have accounts on more than one platform. For most people, this is not much of a problem as most of their social media consists of liking cat pictures and standing in front of their own camera inContinue reading “Offendatron 5000”

The Secret Rites of Folk Singers

Those of you who have heard the fearsome ululations of the folk singers when they manage to hunt and capture a feral banjo, wild guitar or bestial accordion will know the dread that creeps down the spine whenever in range of that unearthly cry. Not only that, the folk singers will then arrange amongst themselvesContinue reading “The Secret Rites of Folk Singers”

Arts Council Grant

I come* hot foot and moist in the groin area from a meeting with our local Arts Council representative, Phyllis Styne. She has – it seems – managed to procure a grant for our village of Little Frigging in the Wold to stage an annual Traditional Rural Perversions Fair under the auspices of the ArtsContinue reading “Arts Council Grant”

Woodland Rites

Clutching our sex spanners close to our palpitating chests, we wormed our way through the entangling undergrowth towards the very edge of the clearing. There we waited, tense and trepidatious, as the scene unfolded before us. Of course, the sheep were there, freshly dipped in exotic unguents and resplendent in their various fetish gear, glintingContinue reading “Woodland Rites”

A Literary Imagination

Another blank page. What was she supposed to do now? This time there was no safety net of an outline. All Glenna could see was that blank whiteness spreading down the page from the end of the sentence where she stood wondering what would happen next. It wasn’t much of a sentence, barely setting outContinue reading “A Literary Imagination”

Rural Sports – The Hunt

Now, indeed. So, here we are then, one lightly-buttered strumpet later and eagerly ready for whatever the rest of this splendid evening can bring. I find there is nothing like an early slight deviation – or kink – for setting off the evening before the full-bloodied orgy begins later in the Little Frigging village hall.Continue reading “Rural Sports – The Hunt”

It Started with a Bang

‘There is a place to begin a story.’ ‘Is there?’ ‘Yes. And this isn’t it.’ ‘Why not?’ Jerrod glanced around. ‘After all, this is the top of the page.’ Arno sighed. ‘Just because it is the top of the page, that doesn’t mean it is the start of the story.’ ‘Seems a god a placeContinue reading “It Started with a Bang”

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