Artist Wins BBC2 Art Show

Artist Undercoat Pointillist last night won BBC2’s pseudo-highbrow talent show Infant School Artshow with her ‘amazing piece’ called simply Old Rope. Her piece, which consists of a length of old rope thrown casually down on a table impressed the judges with, what one judge, the famous Brit Art artist, Lepidoptera Disestablishment, called: Its sheer presenceContinue reading “Artist Wins BBC2 Art Show”

Call For Computer Game Ban

The British press was yesterday once again accused of trying to stir up outrage over yet another computer game. Despite computer games being around now for well over thirty years and, consequently, the people who are now parents – and even grandparents – are very familiar with computer games, the press still tries to demonizeContinue reading “Call For Computer Game Ban”

The Latest Celebrity Sex Scandal

After the recent revelations about the private life of some American bloke who gets paid a lot of money to hit a tiny ball with a stick around some rather over-elaborately landscaped gardens all over the world, comes another earth-shattering celebrity revelation, this time featuring the British TV actress and ‘Reality’ show judge, Parallelogram Spelunker,Continue reading “The Latest Celebrity Sex Scandal”

Blow To Murdoch’s Proposed Paywalls

Rupert Murdoch’s plans to put the content of his news websites behind paywalls suffered a blow yesterday when a report issued by a media consultancy revealed that most web users ‘couldn’t really give a shit whether they read the news or not.’ According to the research the vast majority of the people questioned for theContinue reading “Blow To Murdoch’s Proposed Paywalls”

Pop Star Warning Issued

With the news that Paul McCartney is now the latest in a seemingly endless line of pop stars – such as Geldof, String and Bonio – talking yet more bollocks to the public about something or other, the British public has decided that – at long last – it has simply had enough. Consequently, today,Continue reading “Pop Star Warning Issued”

Annual Rub Your Genitals In a Bowl Of Raspberry Jelly Day

This is – as you probably well know by now – Annual Rub Your Genitals In A Bowl Of Raspberry Jelly Day. In the past, we of this proud island race used to be quite keen on displaying our jelly-smeared genitalia to all and sundry as we disported ourselves down the streets in a jolly,Continue reading “Annual Rub Your Genitals In a Bowl Of Raspberry Jelly Day”

BBC Accused Of Making Dramas

BBC hospital dramas under attack: A top NHS manager has hit out at what he sees as the unrealistic and unprofessional portrayal of NHS workers in BBC dramas Holby City and Casualty. A BBC Spokesperson sighed, and then responded: It is fiction – we make it up. It is not real. It needs action. ItContinue reading “BBC Accused Of Making Dramas”

The Vibrant World of Car Park Design

These days Furrymouse Protondesign is a name familiar to almost everyone with even a passing interest in the vibrantly thrilling world of modern car park design. Protondesign has – for several years – led the world in designing car parks where the spaces are only marginally larger than the cars they are intended for –Continue reading “The Vibrant World of Car Park Design”

Hedgefund and Codpiece

My reader of a certain age will no doubt have a brief smile of recognition when I mention the names of Hedgefund and Codpiece, probably the most famous double act to make the transition from the dying days of the music halls and into the early years of television. They were – of course –Continue reading “Hedgefund and Codpiece”

Government Claims Recycling Success!

The British government announced today that one of its longest re-cycling schemes had been an out and out success, but that it was now appropriate to ‘call time on it’ as it was ‘all starting to look a bit silly’.‘For well over thirty years now,’ The minister for Claiming Dubious Government Successes, Julia Brown-Tongue, claimed,Continue reading “Government Claims Recycling Success!”

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