UK TV’s Leading Survival Expert

Fluffybunny Roadkill is undoubtedly UK TV’s leading survival expert. Roadkill’s programme, from his last C4.73 series, on how to survive for up to seven days in an airport long-stay car park whilst trying to remember where you originally parked your car is regarded as a classic of the genre. Throughout his TV career, Roadkill hasContinue reading “UK TV’s Leading Survival Expert”

Too Rough for Her Delicate World

She said I was too rough for her delicate world when these rough hands grab too hard around her soft life. She wanted gentle moments that swayed in the breeze not my heavy storms that tore through her life ripping everything apart and uprooting all her calm moments. She wanted warm gentle rains not myContinue reading “Too Rough for Her Delicate World”

The House on the Hill

We were desperate to get out of the rain and wind, both soaked through and shivering with cold. We had been wandering around in the darkness for what seemed like hours, but in reality was nowhere near as long. The storm had come on suddenly, several hours before. We had tried to wait it outContinue reading “The House on the Hill”

A Certain Amount of Dexterity

Of course, she was the love of my life. I could but not admire her dexterity with the tambourine, if nothing else. I mean, when it comes to balancing a tambourine on the back of a galloping antelope whilst filling in a questionnaire about the mating habits of the trainee supermarket manager, you could notContinue reading “A Certain Amount of Dexterity”

Faced with the Forces of Doom

Don’t think about it. Just do it. Excellent advice, no doubt, but when you are faced with the Forces of Doom a little bit of trepidation is probably not that uncommon. I suppose it depends, though, on just how often the Forces of Doom have a habit of turning up in the course of yourContinue reading “Faced with the Forces of Doom”

Nice Guys Finish Here

Apparently, Up Top there is a saying ‘nice guys finish last’. Down here, they don’t. If we have anything to do with it, they don’t finish at all. Niceness is not something we want to encourage, especially among the minions. Up Top they also say that we down here are evil. Personally, I don’t reallyContinue reading “Nice Guys Finish Here”

The Cold Lands

I had never come this far north before, never been to the Cold Lands. Someone, years ago in a roadside tavern, told me the people of the Cold Lands have such cruel and vicious gods that cause their people to live cold hard lives. He also told me that their soldiers patrol the borders lookingContinue reading “The Cold Lands”

When it all Stopped

I was quite young the first time it happened, somewhere around ten or eleven years old. Probably eleven, because I seem to recall I hadn’t long started secondary school when it happened for the second time. The first time, though, happened when a few of us were playing football, on the local park football pitch.Continue reading “When it all Stopped”

When the Day Came

Now, those times are long gone. She used to sit here and watch the river flowing by. She used to have so many endless days. She had a long summer that seemed as though it would never end. Even when September ended and the nights drew their blankets over the skies and the wind grewContinue reading “When the Day Came”

Thursday Poem: Those Dark Corners

Those Dark Corners The day begins so slowly with the nightslipping reluctantly down from the mindlike some dark creature of the shadow placesretreating hesitant before the dawncan come and take its hiding places away. The light will come soon now and chase away all those dark corners where the fear and dread still wait, reluctantContinue reading “Thursday Poem: Those Dark Corners”

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