The Latest Hollywood Outrage Scandal

It emerged last night that the film star, Limpid Handwringer is once more at the centre of a controversy about his latest film. Handwringer yet again stars in the latest film in the Bloody Gore series – Bloody Gore: Gratuitous Death Kill XII as the serial killer, Donald Naughtyperson, targeting the teenage girls of aContinue reading “The Latest Hollywood Outrage Scandal”

Hollywood’s Sexiest Leading Man

As everyone knows, Bollard Chestwig is one of Hollywood’s top actors, playing some of the most successful romantic lead roles in the history of cinema. Unfortunately, his latest film Return of the Nasty Thing IV has not been as successful as the other films in the series. Many critics have put this down to theContinue reading “Hollywood’s Sexiest Leading Man”

The Fall of a Modern Celebrity

Welshrarebit Cheesetoastie became the world’s leading headline maker when she was still at a very early age. At that time, her management company had still not decided whether she was going to be a pop star, actress, TV reality star, model, politician or just someone famous for being famous. Her management company, FlOggingADeAdHOrse Inc., soonContinue reading “The Fall of a Modern Celebrity”

Most Inventive Death in a TV Drama Award

Dishmop Thermocouple first appeared on cinema screens as one of the most significant naked corpses in motion picture history. Her role in Kill Them until They are Very Dead VII, catapulted her to international stardom. After that, she was the most in-demand naked corpse in cinema and on TV for several years. However, it wasContinue reading “Most Inventive Death in a TV Drama Award”

The Motion Picture Event of the Year

Guyrope Tentpole is as we all know the male lead in the recent film 50 Shades of Gravy, based on the worldwide bestselling erotic recipe book of the same name. The female lead is, of course, Hetty Pseudopod, who plays the submissive kitchen assistant Fanny Batter. She is lead into a relationship with the dominantContinue reading “The Motion Picture Event of the Year”

A World Celebrity Shortage Disaster Averted

Trampoline Spangleknee first came to public attention in the UK when she set up the world’s first celebrity breeding programme. As we all know, there is a constant danger of the world running out of celebrities, mainly because the celebrity lifecycle is so short. For example, in the pop music industry it is entirely possibleContinue reading “A World Celebrity Shortage Disaster Averted”

A Shiny Thing

Twoforthepriceofone Weaselsemblance is undoubtedly the UK’s leading contemporary novelist. His magnum opus Shiny Thing is a 2598 page multi-award winning expose of 24 hours in the life of a North Grimsby streetlight. Rumour has it that Hollywood is close to signing a multimillion-dollar deal to make a film of the book, with several of Hollywood’sContinue reading “A Shiny Thing”

Tree Stump Impersonation Through the Ages

Panfried Wombatdangler first came to fame as the UK’s best-known female celebrity tree-stump impersonator. As we all know, tree-stump impersonation does have a long history in the entertainment industry. No-one knows exactly when tree-stump impersonation began. However, there are records in the Domesday Book of certain Anglo-Saxon baronial halls having not only full-time jesters, jugglers,Continue reading “Tree Stump Impersonation Through the Ages”

The Hollywood Kick-Ass Heroine

Hedgetrimmer Goatsanctum is probably the Hollywood actress best known for her kick-ass roles these days. She was, of course, the star of the phenomenal box office hit film franchise, Very Naughty Alien Nasty Killer Death Beast I-XXIX. One of a series of films that have taken more at the box office than the combined governmentContinue reading “The Hollywood Kick-Ass Heroine”

Celebrity Parties

Hostelry Spendapenny is probably the UK’s leading celebrity partygoer. As we all know, British tabloids would be much thinner and celebrity gawping websites would have far fewer photo-filled pages if celebrities did not have to keep going out to parties every single night of the week. However, as is little known outside media circles, mostContinue reading “Celebrity Parties”

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