No More Heroes

‘Hang on.’ ‘What now?’ ‘What about my backstory?’ ‘Your… what?’ ‘My backstory. How did I get here?’ ‘You came through that door. You ought to remember, it was only a paragraph ago.’ Tara, the protagonist sighed. ‘No not that. My character, how did I get to become the world’s greatest secret agent?’ ‘Do we haveContinue reading “No More Heroes”

The More Advanced Fruit-Based Sexual Perversions

We have mentioned fruit-based perversions before, but for those wishing to further their understanding of these more esoteric deviations today we are going to examine some of the more advanced fruit-based sexual perversions. Such deviations as the Loganberry Run and the Strawberry Feel are, quite evidently, more for the summer months. This is especially soContinue reading “The More Advanced Fruit-Based Sexual Perversions”

Strip Ludo and World Domination

Spanglethighs Dromedarywrench is probably the UK’s most underrated Strip Ludo player currently on the scene. As we all know, Strip Ludo is a highly-competitive game, especially at the professional level. These days, some Strip Ludo Grand Mistresses have to live beyond Earth orbit for tax reasons. Every four years, the Strip Ludo World Tournament isContinue reading “Strip Ludo and World Domination”

On Making Full Use of the Orgy Pitch

Sometimes it can be a little too disconcerting to see one’s Inter-Village Orgy League team not making full use of the width of the orgy pitch, especially when they are trailing by several points or at least one multiple orgasm as the match enters the final quarter of the third half. Of course, the orgyContinue reading “On Making Full Use of the Orgy Pitch”

The Sexual Perversions Cup

Well, now then, now then…. I can’t think of that much to say, really. Except that we had expected to do better, much, much better. To be knocked out like that, before even reaching the quarterfinals, was a bitter blow. A very bitter blow. The Little-Frigging-In-The-Wold Gleaner had confidently predicted that this year would –Continue reading “The Sexual Perversions Cup”

How To Do Perversion – Part Two

[How To Do Perversion – Part One] One of the most useful aspects of doing perversion properly is knowing how to use the full length and width of the pitch to full effect. It is, after all, no use going out there – not even if your custard bucket is full to the brim (andContinue reading “How To Do Perversion – Part Two”

Inter-Village Orgy League Match Tactics

Of course, a cona… a conos… a conni… a person interested in the finer points of orgy tactics such as your erstwhile self will be familiar with most plays utilised in Inter-Village orgies. In particular, the deployment of the devices during set plays like penalties, offside and the free fondle in the opposition’s box. OneContinue reading “Inter-Village Orgy League Match Tactics”

Is Pole-Vaulting Considered a Sexual Perversion?

In the usual course of affairs pole-vaulting is not often considered to be one of the great, or noble, perverted arts. I would agree that in most cases this is an argument not without some foundation. However, I would also maintain that it is feasible to make a strong case for its utility in certainContinue reading “Is Pole-Vaulting Considered a Sexual Perversion?”

Recent British Olympic Successes

Discount Slingback is probably the UK’s leading professional all-weather freestyle toast catcher. Slingback first came to notice and national acclaim when she won the silver medal at the 2007 Olympic Games in Newton Abbott. She earnt the medal with a stunning triple summersault, half pike grab of a slice of wholemeal toast as it ejectedContinue reading “Recent British Olympic Successes”

Social Media as an Olympic Sport

Plunge Stoatdangler became the UK’s leading social media complainer at a very young age when she noticed that there was something slightly amusing about a mislabelled Cup-a-Soup packet on the shelf at her local supermarket. Of course, as is essential these days, she immediately photographed it on her smartphone, wittily captioned it ‘OMG. I literallyContinue reading “Social Media as an Olympic Sport”

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