When it Came

It came out if the forest like a thingy coming out of the undergrowth with all its doodahs resplendent in the morning, thingamabobs glistening. ‘Oh, my gods,’ the guard on the wall screamed. ‘It’s a bloody wossname! It’s coming this way. Now!’ The captain of the guard, buckling his breastplate as he ran, clambered upContinue reading “When it Came”

The Dawn of the Accordiani

Anyway, there they were, massed on the hillsides above us. Every warrior of the Accordiani tribe, each with their fearsome weapons strapped to their chests. Already in the early dawn light, we could hear the sounds of the warriors readying their battle accordions as they prepared to charge our positions. ‘Don’t worry, private,’ I saidContinue reading “The Dawn of the Accordiani”

The Inter-Village Orgy League Team Squad

Of course, applying the grommet to the seating point just under the offside mud flap of your oiled and naked left inside full-frontal forward wingback is quite an easy and straightforward piece of elementary orgy squad tactical maintenance. It is nowhere near as complex as a complete re-orienteering of your right midfield outside fondler afterContinue reading “The Inter-Village Orgy League Team Squad”

Keeping it All in Order

But not necessarily in that order. Obviously, you do need some kind of organisational system or the whole thing gets rapidly out of control. The simplest approach is, of course, alphabetical order. Putting the aardvark next to the accordion does make sense in that context. But would you ideally want to have the risk ofContinue reading “Keeping it All in Order”

Cold Winter Thermal Fetish Gear

Now, as the cold winter weather of our global warming continues I am sure that you must all have already made full use of your thermal fetish gear, fur-lined penile restraints, cold weather nipple clamps and woollen wallaby grouting aprons. Also, you should also make sure your sex spatulas are kept warm and at optimumContinue reading “Cold Winter Thermal Fetish Gear”

Premium Membership

It goes without saying that a public forum such as this is no place to discuss such intimate matters. Since it does go without saying, we won’t bother saying it and get straight down to the filth… er… the matter in question. There is no need for embarrassment, after all, no-one here knows your realContinue reading “Premium Membership”

Grand Uncle Stagnant and Philosophy

Let me take you by the throat and lead you through the streets of Little Frigging, where later this evening we will see Grand Uncle Stagnant taking the scenic route home from The Pervert’s Appendage. His route usually takes him via some of the more verdant of the hedges in the vicinity as well asContinue reading “Grand Uncle Stagnant and Philosophy”

An Ordinary World

Sometimes it gets hard to remember how it used to be. The past takes on some semblance of dream half remembered, fading as the dawn’s light illuminates the present and turns the past into a morning mist that fades and is gone. The mornings take on a routine again, not the same routine as itContinue reading “An Ordinary World”

Blowin’ Free

Well now, as it happens today sees the first day of Little Frigging’s Annual Village Free Fondle Week. All the denizens of Little Frigging have decked themselves out in their traditional free-fondling outfits and fondling mittens, and we have all been furiously polishing our sex spatulas in readiness. Of course, these days these traditional ruralContinue reading “Blowin’ Free”

The Prize Winner

Well… there you have it. At least providing you managed to get your application form entered in time. And if you were one of the lucky ones, selected at random to go through to the second stage. And if you completed the assault course in under 15 minutes while carrying the elderly relative in aContinue reading “The Prize Winner”

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