A Brief History of Cheesetoastie’s Politician Ignoring Device

These days Humperdinck Cheesetoastie is often credited with the invention of the Spring-Loaded, Self-Adjusting Politician Ignoring Device. The app version of this technology has since become de rigour on all mobile technology from smartphones to the current most fashionable fondleslab. The app is usually pre-installed on the most of the available technology. This includes thoseContinue reading “A Brief History of Cheesetoastie’s Politician Ignoring Device”

The Shadow Feeding on Darkness

It was like a shadow. It crept along beside her every day. Unlike a shadow though, it was not lost in darkness. Instead, when the darkness came, it grew until this shadow of hers was the darkness. Hella did not know what to do about it. The shadow hung there, like a real shadow, attachedContinue reading “The Shadow Feeding on Darkness”

The Cold War Folk Music Standoff

There was, of course, some concern about the massed ranks of Russian balalaika players on the Cold War borders. However, prompt action by a regiment of US rapid reaction banjo players countered the Soviet threat. Thus was one of the great Cold War standoffs brought to an end with only three casualties when one ofContinue reading “The Cold War Folk Music Standoff”

The Drum Solo and its Dangers

  Highhat Paradiddle is probably the world’s leading professor of Drum Solo Studies. Now Emeritus Professor of Drum Stools at the prestigious University of Steve (formerly Stroud Agricultural College Annexe), he has produced the world’s leading paper on this great enigma. For almost as long as humanity has existed, there have been drum solos, butContinue reading “The Drum Solo and its Dangers”

Latest Celebrity Disease Outbreak

Sagebush Tinkywinky is probably now the world’s leading celebrity, famous for… well, anyway. However, celebrity watchers were shocked and horrified to discover that Tinkywinky was the latest celebrity to fall victim to the hideous disease running rife through the world of the rich and famous. Women from all walks of the celebrity world, from rockContinue reading “Latest Celebrity Disease Outbreak”

Politics and Basic Prevention Measures

Spasmodic Troutinverter is well-known in the UK as one of the country’s leading politicians. This means that most people when they see him out in the street or in any other public place immediately take their children to a place of safety and hide themselves until the all-clear sounds. For a long time now, ordinaryContinue reading “Politics and Basic Prevention Measures”

Social Media – A New Offence

The UK’s leading celebrity truck driver, Footpump Marginalrate, shot to social media fame last weekend. It happened when he issued a rather unfeeling tweet about the limited number of baked beans he discovered on his toast at a fashionable late night trendy transport café in the metropolitan region. His tweet, along with his smartphone photographicContinue reading “Social Media – A New Offence”

England and International Sporting Success

Obviously, there was some concern at the start of play that the opposing team would use the unseasonal weather to their own advantage. However, as we all know, the British are a resilient people and the changeable weather was not enough to put the English side off their game. After all, such a slight changeContinue reading “England and International Sporting Success”

What this City Used to Be

Something…. There was movement out there. Something flickered past one of the windows, or rather one of the holes where the windows use to be. It had been a long time since there had been any windows. Only us older ones remembered when those holes in the walls had glass in them. Back then, theContinue reading “What this City Used to Be”

Weapons Of War

  As we all know, several European nations in the nineteenth century invented their various ‘folk’ musics as a weapon of war. After all, most of them had seen how the British Highland regiments had used the bagpipes to such fearsome effect in earlier wars of colonial expansion. Consequently, several European countries with imperial ambitionsContinue reading “Weapons Of War”

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