Tennis Made Interesting

Well, it was not that she’d ever doubted her prowess with the tennis racquet at all… ever. It was more of a matter of taking her to one side and explaining to her – with the aid of a brace of hastily-drawn diagrams – that she was not using the aforementioned item of sporting equipmentContinue reading “Tennis Made Interesting”

Getting your Goat

Well, there you go… or maybe you don’t…. After all, I am not privy to your travel arrangements… and I – for one – firmly believe that what you do when you get there is entirely your own business and providing the goat doesn’t complain, what business is it of anyone else’s… apart from theContinue reading “Getting your Goat”

Cooking up a Storm

  It was, as many media commentators subsequently attested, all rather splendid. Although, there was some carping later about the amount of vegetables, especially the leeks, damaged and wasted during the proceedings, most of us involved in the event were more than satisfied, despite the higher than usual incidence of later-reported bad backs, or theContinue reading “Cooking up a Storm”

The World’s Greatest Crime-Fighting Superhero

  So, even though you keep your helicopter in the darkest corner of your tool-shed and feel it only the cabbage of the gods as a light pre-flight supper, you are not quite that civic-minded as your assumed and self-proclaimed super-hero status would suggest: is it… Staying-in-to-Watch-the-Telly Man? It may be one of the finestContinue reading “The World’s Greatest Crime-Fighting Superhero”

Asking Your Opinion

  It was not quite the new dawn of all our hopes, more along the lines of yet another dull drizzly start to one more day of the daily grind, with the remote possibility of a brief escape up the steepening slopes of tedium towards the summit of the mundane where all the dreary landscapeContinue reading “Asking Your Opinion”

Spring Lamb

Once there was a time when all of this was fields, but enough about databases, especially those home to large herds of sheep roaming the hillsides and causing excitement in the shepherding community unheard of since the last radical redesign of the wellie. Let us go, ewe and I, now the evening is spread outContinue reading “Spring Lamb”

The Weasel Hordes of Indifference and Ingratitude

  We all know that the weasel hordes of indifference and ingratitude sweep majestically across the wide-open plains of the car parks of this once-proud nation. We forget that in days of yore this country had chip shops that were the very envy of the world. And… yet. And yet…. Still, I feel as thoughContinue reading “The Weasel Hordes of Indifference and Ingratitude”

A Cure for Human Stupidity

  Well, not that any of us has any choice in the matter, now that it is all long over and done, as Harold pointed out at the time, though, they were very dangerous things and could easily have someone’s eye out if they were not careful where they were pointing them. Still, that’s historyContinue reading “A Cure for Human Stupidity”

Battle-Ready Marmalade

  Now the No First Use Of Battle-Ready Marmalade Treaty has been signed by the world’s leading powers, the hope now is that it will see the end of those small battle-ready catering portions of marmalade that cased so much trouble and frustration during the now infamous battlefield breakfasts of both world wars. The disastersContinue reading “Battle-Ready Marmalade”

MPs Call for Privacy Legislation

  Even though not many people are aware of just how often the Houses of Parliament have been bought to the point of actually doing something useful for this country, the UK’s MPs have decided that they need yet another new law. This law: The ‘Mind Your Own Sodding Business Regulatory Powers Act’ will enableContinue reading “MPs Call for Privacy Legislation”

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