This Dread Disease

In the end, though, it had to come to this, despite the precautions everyone regarded as necessary. Self-isolation, quarantine of the infected, extra hygienic routines and antiseptic hand washes and wipes. But still the disease got through our defences. It is always the case that it only takes one case of infection to contaminate severalContinue reading “This Dread Disease”

The Latest Hollywood Outrage Scandal

It emerged last night that the film star, Limpid Handwringer is once more at the centre of a controversy about his latest film. Handwringer yet again stars in the latest film in the Bloody Gore series – Bloody Gore: Gratuitous Death Kill XII as the serial killer, Donald Naughtyperson, targeting the teenage girls of aContinue reading “The Latest Hollywood Outrage Scandal”

Plebiscite Backhander – A Career in Politics

Plebiscite Backhander was the most notoriously corrupt MP in the history of the British Houses of Parliament, which – considering the opposition – was a magnificent achievement. These days we, of course, realise that corruption for personal financial gain is a far more moral stance in a politician than to believe in any political ideology.Continue reading “Plebiscite Backhander – A Career in Politics”

A Politics-Free World

Obviously, it is not that obvious… at least not from the most usual angles. After all, discretion is guaranteed in the adverts, and if you can’t trust the advertising industry, whom can you trust? Certainly not politicians, that is obvious from the marketing of this product. After all, who amongst us hasn’t wished there wouldContinue reading “A Politics-Free World”

It’s Obvious

Obviously, the obvious thing to do here would be to start the sentence with obviously. Or would that be not quite so obvious as you’d think? After all, sometimes the obvious thing to do is not quite so obvious. Sometimes the obvious can be quite unexpected when someone is expecting the unexpected. As the actressContinue reading “It’s Obvious”

Songs of Loss

‘Why do you only ever sing songs of loss,’ I asked her once. Shelda looked at me through half-closed eyes. ‘Because that is all there is.’ She raised a weary hand from under the thin sheet covering us. She waved towards the window. ‘Look around.’ I nodded. I didn’t need to look around. The cityContinue reading “Songs of Loss”

Goat, Yogurt and Mildred Time

Why is there a goat? Oh, and Mildred, of course. It just so happens that there is a large tub of natural yogurt on the shelf too. You know what that means? YES! It is Goat, Yogurt and Mildred Time! A couple of years ago, it was getting obvious even to the TV programme planners,Continue reading “Goat, Yogurt and Mildred Time”

Building Utopia

But, of course, she would say that. Amongst many, many other things. There must be some sort of list somewhere that she keeps updated. A list of all your shortcomings… yes, especially those ones. You – apparently – have faults that you didn’t even know were faults. But still, it is not enough that youContinue reading “Building Utopia”

A Life in Politics

Perambulator Duodenum was born into a wealthy upper middle-class family. He was privately educated (to little or no real effect) at one of Britain’s top public schools. After leaving Oxford with a double 5th in Post-Colonial Allotment Studies, Perambulator Duodenum received a generous trust fund. His parents set up the fund when they discovered thatContinue reading “A Life in Politics”

But Then Again

But then again, you have to stop and ask yourself the important question… then you decide you can’t be arsed and carry on anyway. After all, you are here in the kitchen, holding a spoon. There must be some reason for it. You came into the kitchen full of purpose, decisive and ready for action,Continue reading “But Then Again”

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