Gordon Brown – Satellites To Monitor UK For Signs Of Political Climate Change Plan

At a meeting of the Commonwealth Nations, just before the weekend, the UK Prime Minister, Gormless Brown, announced plans to use satellites to monitor the UK for what he regards as increasing evidence that the British Isles are heading for a severe change in its political climate.A government spokeswoman later translated the PM’s remarks intoContinue reading “Gordon Brown – Satellites To Monitor UK For Signs Of Political Climate Change Plan”

Government Proposes New Anti-Hatred Legislation

Following a report which claims that the UK is top of the league for reports of so-called ‘Hate’ crimes, the British government promised that they would do all they could to make sure the UK stayed at the top of this particular league. A government spokesman said: It comes as a great relief, and –Continue reading “Government Proposes New Anti-Hatred Legislation”

More Government ‘Education’ Plans Outlined

The UK government has announced plans to teach children, in schools, that domestic violence against women and children is unacceptable, in what many believe is yet another initially fine-sounding government initiative meant to tackle a serious problem that ought to be addressed, but is – in reality – just another of those ‘policies’ they keepContinue reading “More Government ‘Education’ Plans Outlined”

Iraq War Inquiry: God To Be Called As Witness

[God, pictured taking a stroll on the beach near his retirement bungalow in Bournemouth] The inquiry into the Iraq war, led by Sir John Chilcot, begins later today. It was announced that, as suspected, the inquiry would be calling a being known as ‘God’ as a witness, following claims by former American President George BushContinue reading “Iraq War Inquiry: God To Be Called As Witness”

Queen’s Speech – Education Reforms

Despite the enormous emphasis put on education by the Labour government during its term of office, the government believes there are still some unresolved problems with the education system. As Ed ‘Total’ Balls the Education spokesmen said, outlining the education measures that will be in the Queen’s Speech: Despite our best efforts over the lastContinue reading “Queen’s Speech – Education Reforms”

The Greatest Conspiracy

For many people, quite possibly the most famous conspiracy in the world… ever, is the now infamous Stoat-Beguiling Incident that took place during the night of March 18th 1976 at Bridgnorth in the West Midlands, UK. Many conspiracy theorists are convinced that there was far more going on during that evening than has ever beenContinue reading “The Greatest Conspiracy”

Stop That, Right Now! (Whatever It Is)

[Oi! I’ve got my eye on you] The UK government this morning announced that: It knows what you are thinking and: It doesn’t like it. So you are to stop thinking it immediately! The UK government in its benign benevolence that, as well as banning everything you like to do from smoking and drinking throughContinue reading “Stop That, Right Now! (Whatever It Is)”

Another Recycling Success!

In yet another Government announcement, the Minister for Making Politics Seem Relevant, Penny Backhander, announced that the government has had another great success in its recycling programme, confirming that the government’s strategy for the recycling of old TV programmes will continue. ‘It has been an enormous success,’ she said, ‘not only are the mainstream channelsContinue reading “Another Recycling Success!”

It’s An Outrage!

Do you – only too often – see news stories where people stridently claim ‘It’s an outrage!’ about something you’ve never even noticed, let alone thought about before? Do you feel outraged by your inability to find something to get outraged about? Do you need that sense of outraged self-justification that will give shape, definition,Continue reading “It’s An Outrage!”

The Diversity Outreach Co-Ordinator With No Name

It was a one horse town, out in the wilds of the country, in the badlands far beyond the M25. The salon bar doors swung open and the be-ponchoed stranger stepped into the room. The piano stopped mid-tune, and all conversation halted. Each of the stranger’s steps on the wooden floor rang out as sheContinue reading “The Diversity Outreach Co-Ordinator With No Name”

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